About Alexander~ RSD
‘Scuse me, ‘scuse me!
So, I have been neck deep in trying to figure out any type of video editing program for the last two months and it has seriously drained my life. Hence the lack of blog posts.
But, I have been gathering some sick-as new material for the natural superconference and the upcoming free speech tours that I am scheduled to ROCK!
They should change the names of these funky events to free parties instead of speeches. It’s a more accurate reflection of the actual goings on. We originally envisioned very studious academic situations of rumination.
Now: it’s like going to see an awesome movie that leaves you thinking… and changes your outlook on life.
So due to the absence of my writing I’m giving out the glory academia that’s guaranteed to take you from club to bedroom with every girl you meet.
“Sixty per-cent of the time it works every time.”
Nooooooo. It’s actually the Real Social Dynamics latest and greatest take on phone game.
Which, although only partially a black and white ‘how to’ guide, will help you massively tune up your game to link the meet to the close and then ultimately the potential relationship if that’s your thing.
This article, unlike any other article published on phone game comes from a perspective of natural nuRSD style.
Coming from the right place.
Let me start by first stating the importance of coming from the right place. This place is where you can find guys who respect themselves and value their opinions of themself higher than others’ opinions of themself.
This mindset makes you the highest value person in your reality. Others around you play subordinate roles in the highlight reel that is your life. If you are the main dish they are the garnishes.
Sweetening and enriching your experience, but never at the expense of your own path and regard.
Remember when we talk natural game I can’t stress strongly enough the reiteration of the GOLDEN RULE.
“Whatever you feel, she feels.”
Whenever you have an influence on her reality, her perceptual experience of the world, what you feel will play a role in the constitution of her state.
If you’re a cool carefree guy who’s coming from the right place you always feel good because you live in the now.
Luckily you’re also a man who has the almost magical ability to draw state from within. So stop being the victim, ‘harden the fuck up’ and take responsibility of your state and look on the bright side.
You are at the helm of your own reality, steer it in a constructive direction and others will follow.
Referring to the interaction itself I used to hear a lot of girls use the terminology ‘you’re in’. Which I eventually figured out meant that she likes you.
‘You’re in’ means that she considers you a sexworthy guy.
Once ‘you’re in’ it’s only a matter of time and logistics until physical intimacy occurs. Whether or not this intimacy ever arises depends on your dedication to the interaction, how far you’re willing to take it.
A lot of guys don’t even call the number, make the effort to set the date, endure flakes, or go on a second date to encounter the physicality. With the phone game/dating game responsibility for things moving forward need to be facilitated by you – the man.
In terms of the interaction in person and on the phone at no time do I deviate from my reality that everyone loves me. Why wouldn’t they? I offer value, don’t take any without asking nicely and I’m usually fun or self destructively entertaining to be around.
Strong perception equates to strong reality, so spread the love.
Furthermore this means staying true to myself and not attempting to ‘work’ the people I hang with. When I talk to grandma she
loves me, when I talk to turbo club bitch it’s in my reality that she loves me too. If there is any misunderstanding I will help non-believers learn.
Strong perception equates to strong reality, so spread the love.
As for the phone game itself the underlying factor that will define you phone game success is succinctly the following:
“The key to good phone game is a good interaction” RSD – circa 2005.
Good phone game isn’t something that happens on the phone, it’s something that happens in the field. It happens in person.
What makes a good interaction?
For an interaction geared solely towards the intention of a later date meet up there are a few misconceptions that will be cleared up with the delivery of the following information.
And of course this info is a guide and collective experience and there are always exceptions to the mainstream trends.
But understanding what works will help you to implement a practise that will accelerate you results.
An interaction that is most likely to yield a day two meet up is usually a low energy, low sexuality low fireworks affair.
It’s generally short in duration as opposed to a several hour long marathon.
It generally doesn’t involve excessive physical escalation.
Makeouts on the first interaction are usually detrimental to the prospects of the date.
Picture a chill comfortable light hearted anticipation building interaction in a low energy environment. A social meeting that inspires curiosity and mutual respect.
However this scenario is rare in an intense club setting. But it’s not so uncommon earlier on in the night before energy levels spiral out of control or much later on after the club environment, maybe in a diner or food venue.
Some of the makers that consistently indicate a second meet are mutual distinct feelings of ‘this is an interesting new person’, it’s a very chill situation and she talks to you enough to be able to tell you apart from all the other guys in the club.
And with that you exchange numbers and on leaving you state something to the tune of ‘I will call you later’. Having done enough to inspire curiosity and leaving her generating her own anticipation of what you might actually be like when she gets to know you better but not going over the top and being a drunk horn bag.
In the ideal phone game interaction it’s important that you don’t colour the canvas of your life to the point that she doesn’t have the chance to do any of that for herself.
These sorts of interactions usually start with ‘Who are you?!’ Or ‘Hi, my name is **chilldude**’.
Offer value, feel good, express don’t impress, positive dominance.
Simple and sweet.
To quote the genius himself: Tyler…
“A date is most likely to arise from an interaction if the first interaction is similar in context to how the second interaction would be.”
It is in her reality upon meeting you that she could see herself dating you.
It is important that there is congruence between the ‘you’ that she meets and the ‘you’ that she dates. Incongruence shows a lack of self assurance and indicates that you play the situation as opposed to staying true to yourself.
Of course there are hundreds of different contingencies that pertain to this topic that have yielded dates. What I’m getting at here is a user guide to those who are inexperienced.
What you will find in the club is that everyone gives out there number almost all of the time.
This includes married women, chicks with boyfriends, chicks with girlfriends and even chicks who aren’t even chicks at all.
This is a product of buying temperature in the moment of the club. People act on impulse, plus it’s perfectly normal to network with people. You might not actually date this girl but she could hold the gate key to a fantastic new social circle where you find yourself socially proofed before you even meet the rest of her friends.
If the girls gives you her number it doesn’t mean it’s date time, it means she was having a good time at that point of exchange. That state you put her in at that moment is all that is needed to inspire networking. This in no way means that you can expect to ever hear from her again.
Once she is out of sight assume nothing. Once you have no more influence over her state realise that you no longer play any role in her life until you further take responsibility for it on the phone or again socially down the track.
Live in the moment, when she’s in front of you or you’re on the phone to her she’s in your reality, when you’re not with her or on the phone to her she is outside your reality. You have a path that you’re on, stick to it.
This is the same as with her, when you’re not in contact with her you’re not a part of her reality. Don’t waste time speculating or even second guessing yourself. When you’re not with her don’t give it a second thought. Date your girls, or go out and meet some new ones.
After a while you will be able to tell which girls have boyfriends and aren’t likely to call back and which girls are looking to meet someone to date.
Remember the club is like a video game to her. Girls love to go to clubs for the state they get from them, it is a stimulus fest for girls. Similar to the last time you played Grand Theft Auto on the Xbox, you had fun but do you really remember the interchangeable details.
Well maybe the interesting, unique highlight details.
Be one of these.
Do this by being internally centred, being naturally attractive and offer value through talking about you as opposed to interviewing the shit out of her.
Cool interaction as per normal.
All of that said, it is obvious that numbers collected during the day far outweigh club numbers due to all the above listed reasons.
This is also true of after party numbers, diner numbers and social circle numbers.
So if you’re in date fishing mode hit up these scenarios for stronger leads.
In the situation of intense nightclubs it’s important to get the girl into the ideal interaction scenario for phone game by bouncing from the venue with her afterwards and going to get something to eat or just waiting and chilling outside waiting for a taxi.
In terms of the actual interaction outer game here’s the most up to date guide known to man.
All of these tips are designed to amplify you opportunities to create a good interaction and get her to remember you more than every other guy and have your reality grounded to hers.
There is no way to eliminate flakes. The measures listed here are means by which to mitigate them. Ways by which to make the interaction as good as possible.
The key to good phone game is a good interaction.
When it actually comes to proposing the number it’s very straightforward and best done within the first five minutes of meeting the girl.
Do it on a high note early on, this way her buying temp is of course up from meeting someone new and for the rest of the interaction she is talking to you through the filter of ‘this guy has my number’.
The number is a formality. Remember it is the girl you are interested in.
Ways to pitch for the number:
“We should be friends”, pass the phone.
“We should network” pass the phone.
“I have to go but we should talk later” pass the phone.
“I have to get back to my friends” pass the phone.
Basic stuff, but don’t let this limit you.
If there is a lack of compliance pitch again, positive dominant responsivity.
If there is outright objection go illogical and say that you can just be emotionally close friends. If there is still no love keep talking and continue to amp her attraction to you by expressing yourself freely, offering value and being unreactive.
You will get a lot of phone numbers.
Save the details of the girls whose number you get. You are going to be in a position where you will be getting tens of numbers a week. Save the date and place of the interaction and maybe more.
For example: “Samantha 6/13 fusion club”.
When you get the number call her phone and tell her you have. It’s better to have her save your name there and then. Get her to save it as something unique to you so she remembers.
For example: “Alex 6/13 Godzilla penis”. Or any other relevant information.
At the point of exchanging numbers text her something self amusing that doesn’t try for rapport.
“I am cool.”
“I love beer.”
“Chuck Norris can eat a Rubik’s cube whole and reproduce it solved.”
Also it can be very good to text her your facebook or myspace details at this point.
Myspace and facebook are modern day social tools that aren’t to go unemployed. If you don’t use these things you are selling yourself short. You certainly don’t NEED them, but it’s an extra string in your bow.
Check out my myspace page: www.myspace.com/treas_science. This was purpose designed as the ultimate social resume. Add me on facebook as well for a good guide as to how it should be set up to show that you have things going on.
If you made even half a good impression you can be sure she will be checking this stuff out at her first opportunity. Make it work in your favour.
If you really want to get creative at the point of number exchange you can take photos of each other with camera phones or leave her a voice massage.
The voice message thing is good and I think the credit for this goes to Manwhore from RSDnation. The idea is that you call her there and then and interview her so that it get saved into her voicemail box.
Doing this is another great way to set yourself apart from the other guys and have her remembering you later on.
Getting numbers earlier on in the night is great to because as you are a cool guy, each guy that approaches after that will come along and put you into a golden perspective by being fucking chodes.
Always be thinking in terms of INVESTMENTS AND RETURNS (keep an eye out for an article coming soon).
By her giving you her phone number she has made an investment in you. From any investment a person wants a return. Further her investment with you with some rapport stuff.
By chatting about a combination of deep and wide rapport topics she this investment will occur.
Practically an investment is her probing into your life by asking questions, the same way that lots of chodes do this in the club.
You can inspire this by talking about yourself and the things you want to do and the thing you do that you think are funny.
Making statements is offering value and if you don’t go over the top into dancing monkey mode you will find her asking you more chode game questions. Girls have bad game when they like you. When you get the interview question you know that ‘you’re in’.
This rapport is a great way to facilitate this and ground your reality to her and render you a real person.
When taking the number it’s good to qualify her on it. Tell her that she probably just gives her number out to every guy and that she probably won’t even remember you.
Simply saying this elicits investment in her behalf usually in the form of “No! Of course I will remember you!” When she goes to decide whether or not she will pick up the phone this will play a part in her continued investment in you. Credit to Jlaix for this one.
When you actually get the number don’t walk away and give your friends a high five. The interest is in the girl, not the number.
Most of the time, after exchanging numbers the interaction will continue for a while. If you do have to go straight away make an effort to walk away on a high note, tell another story, misinterpret something in a way that amuses you and leave with a smile.
Don’t high five your friends after the interaction.
Back onto the topic of grounding your reality enough so that she remembers you it is imperatively important that you qualify her to demonstrate your connection with her and show her that you see her value other than her tits and or ass.
A girl isn’t likely to meet you purely on the grounds of sexual interaction. It is of course possible, but more often than not there needs to be logical rationalisation. There always will be a reason why you want to send time with a girl other than to sleep with her so don’t be afraid to let her know about it.
When you qualify her you tell her why she has value to you. You want to point out something that sets her apart from the other girls you meet in terms of her character traits. Avoid aesthetic traits at all costs otherwise the girl will interpret you as looking at her in terms of her aesthetics only.
She cannot rationalise making an effort to date a guy who only looks at her in terms of her looks, but can very easily rationalise seeing a guy who really connects with her. Qualification is your modality to achieve this.
Qualification is very powerful if you have any sort of personable intuition and you have been speaking to her for a couple of minutes. You will very quickly get an idea of what type of person she is and her strong points.
For example qualification would be structured like this:
1. I really like your xyz quality
2. Not many girls i meet have xyz quality
3. Why do you have this quality/what inspires this quality in you.
1. I really admire the way you are brave under pressure
2. All the other girls would crumble at the first sign of danger and scary things
3. Where do you draw your inner warrior strength from?
In terms of investments and returns after you ask her why she has such a great quality she would be put into a position where she will be inclined to invest in you again.
Girl: “My bravery comes from the heart, and the knowledge that someday I will experience true love in a free land.”
Boom, you have demonstrated that you appreciate her for her and she will rationalise seeing you due to this fact. Whereas so many guys lose out when setting up the meet up because the girl perceives the guys mind is solely geared towards sex even if he did appreciate her for her.
Credit to Jlaix for teaching me this qualification methodology.
This is the same for first interaction make outs. She’s likely to get buyer’s remorse and her first interaction will be out of character ‘party girl’ that you wouldn’t meet on the date. By not making out you retain the ideology that you are picking her up in a context that would be similar to being on a date with her.
Even if you don’t have the ideal interaction there is no sure fire way of telling for sure who you will wind up meeting again and not, play out the phone game as closely as you can to the way it stipulated in this article.
When you leave that night send a mass text to everyone including the girl to further give her references to remember you by.
If the girl is going to get a mass text from a new number make it clear that it is a mass text and not just directed at her. Do not, under any circumstance, try for rapport.
“Yooooooooo! We own the weekend. After party!”
You should be doing this anyway after the night to search for options and consolidate relations. Plus, people are inclined to text back asking about an after party to which you can propose throwing one. Or, someone might simply ask you to theirs, no worries.
If you get into a volley with the girl that night on text it could be the case that you can ‘afterparty’ with one another at a venue, always call it ‘afterparty’ instead of a meet up. Text exchange addresses.
Phone game ability is unnecessary once you have slept with the girl. If you can consolidate your physical connection with the girl that night that’s the best way to make her your girlfriend.
If this is not the case it will be necessary to call her to facilitate the establishment of a girlfriend.
When should you call?
There is not hard and fast rule for this either. Next day can be fine.
I’m a caller not a texter. For two reasons, texting is trickier than calling with all the button pushing shit and I have had more success establishing meet ups this way.
Person to person interaction on the phone is far more influential than text messages. Don’t be the guy who doesn’t call because he likes to plan meticulously what he’s going to text the girl. And don’t be the guy who doesn’t call because he’s scares he’s going to fuck up speaking to her in person on the phone.
Fucking up is good because it then gives you an opportunity to show that you make mistakes, but you don’t care, it’s just what you do. You’re not the sort of guy who really gives a fuck about stupid irrelevant bullshit.
The way it turns out most of the time is that it will take a couple of days to call the girl because you have things going on.
Usually one or two days is about right. If I get a number on Thursday, Friday or Saturday I call Monday, if I got the number
Sunday I’d call Tuesday.
In my experience its best to call during business hours or school hours, around the four or 5 o’clock mark. This has a better connection rate than later in the night when any number of other things could be going on.
During business or school hours people are in a better state because they are busy and usually more attentive to the phone. After hours people are less in state and harder to get a hold of especially when the phone is on charge in another room.
Before you call note this.
If a girl agrees to meet up with you in any case the potential scenario is not something that she would consciously want to agree to.
One the one hand she might meet you and not like you the way she thought she might. Ultra awkward situation. She won’t agree to that potential situation.
On the other hand she will like you. In this scenario she will end up investing massive amounts of time, money, effort and emotion into you for potentially no return. Not something she can consciously agree to either.
So, when you get into a phone game situation its vital that you persist for the meet up. This is a case again of coming from the right place.
Chasing, pushing, needing is low value stuff.
Persisting is high value and approaching the situation from the right mindset.
You take every responsibility for the girl getting laid. You take every responsibility for the continuation of the interaction after the initial meeting.
If you’re wondering as to why you should have a sense of entitlement remember your intentions.
You intend to make life a better place for her, you intend to have fun, you don’t intend to take value or detract for her experience in any way. You know that when she hangs out with you shes going to have more fun with you for the right reasons than any other guy.
That’s why it’s worth persisting. In line with your intentions you need to help her understand this. Persist until she sees you. If she doesn’t get that you’re the best guy for her that’s her loss…or your miscalibration.
Usually flakes result from bad interactions, a lack of self value relative to the girl, lack of persistence and a lack of sense of entitlement.
The self is always coming through even on the phone. Self trust is big. Anything except self trust won’t be received well.
The state you’re in on the phone will be the state you influence her with when you speak to her. So relax and have fun with it.
When you are on the phone stay in alignment with yourself. Anything other than positive dominance means you’re not manning up. Stop being a little bitch.
You want to be in a good state when you go to make the call. This is best done when you are hanging out with other people and already in a social mode. Other good situations are when you’re coming back from the gym or some other stimulating activity or maybe you’re just out shopping.
The common theme behind this is your switched on, in the moment and feeling good.
Don’t be counting down the clock to seven PM, lighting candles chanting mantras and pulling the blinds closed. The phone call is an offhand everyday thing.
When you actually make the call you have pretty much two contingencies that could possibly arise. Either you speak to her on the phone or you get her answering service.
If you get the answering machine it’s a simple:
“Hey it’s me, call me back.” Indifferent, breaking-rapport tonality.
If you don’t hear anything back do the same three or four days afterwards.
After four or five instances of this with no call back you have nothing to lose, so go all out and then delete the number.
Call her answering machine as per normal with Aerosmith playing dramatically in the background. Sing to the answering to the tunes of the song something outrageous like:
“I don’t want to close my eyes,
I am a fucking chode,
And I masturbate,
Using tears as my lub-ri-cant”
End song with:
“call me, BIIIIIIIIIIIII-ATCH!”
Credit to Jlaix’s weeping air supply technique. I never heard of air supply so I use Aerosmith I don’t wan’t to miss a thing track.
This gets a good call back rate, and granted you do start a little behind the eight ball but you get something whereas you previously had nothing. Proceed with phone game as per normal.
If you do get her on the phone in person there is a tried and tested structure and a couple of principles that will stand you in good stead.
On the first call you are just feeling out the situation. If you are going to potentially date a girl and dedicate a night of your life to a potential waste of time you want to investigate firstly whether or not a person is worth the expenditure of your value able time.
Don’t pitch the meet up on the first call. Whatever you do DON’T TRY FOR RAPPORT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. Girls usually aren’t ultra talkative on the phone during the first call because they get nervous like guys do.
Don’t fall into the trap of talking solely to fill awkward silences. Be cool with silences, she will sense this and usually be compelled to talk to fill the silence herself.
It’s as though you create a verbal vacuum.
Usually if there is a silence on the phone or in person people will try and question their way out of this. This is more investment in you by her trying for rapport by asking questions. This investment into you is a great thing.
On the first call keep things normal. Here’s a structure that I usually follow that is a great way to connect over the phone, communicate high value and leave her wanting more.
This is how it basically goes.
I dial, she answers.
Girl: hello, slut speaking
Girl: hello girl speaking
Alex: hey girl, whassup.
Girl: Oh hey! Not much, I’m just studying/working/doing something non-inspiring or non creative answer
Alex: haha yeah? Sounds riveting.
Alex: I’m on the way back from the gym workout of desire/grocery shopping because I can’t cook anything except metal in microwaves/buying alcohol for a Monday night binge session.
Alex: OI, I had the craziest week…(insert value offering, interesting, buying temperature spiking story here.)
Alex: I got into a fight with a bouncer, my friend got arrested, I went to a casino, I set a microwave on fire, grew enough facial hair to shave, wore a costume while drunk.
Girl: Haha, OMG your crazy/cool haha. (questions usually follow)
Alex: (Answers questions in a sexually mis-interpretive way)
Alex: So what did you say you did on the weekend?
Girl: A non-inspiring or non-creative answer.
Alex: Haha, shit, I can’t believe I missed it, I suppose you had to be there right? (sarcasm, fulfils a full range of emotions)
Alex: Well, I was just calling to check in. I’ve got a couple of things going on this afternoon/this evening, I’m going in and out.
Alex: Cool. I will call you later.
This will certainly leave her mulling over the prospects of you in her mind. Considering you high value and giver her imagination to run away with hopes that you might fall into the frame of the ideal guy she has been looking for.
This is a great replicatable framework for guys who are new to phone game and the game in general.
Remember that it is a structure, not a script.
Over the phone don’t expect to have her cooing and seducing you immediately in the same way you dot expect her to be rubbing your nipples when you first meet her in person. Come from the right place and you CAN’T NOT be attractive to her in the same way guys CAN’T NOT be attracted to a hot girl in a bikini.
A lot of guys go over the top in person and especially on the phone and sabotage themselves. In the same way that guys are always hoping to find that babe girl to potentially hook up with girls are always looking for that particular type of attractive guy.
Give her a chance to project onto you what she wants to. Your attractiveness to her is determined by your behaviour and smoothness in potentially turbulent situations. If you sit back and stay ‘chill’ more often than not she will go out of her way to project onto you what her reticular activation system is looking for in a guy.
Attraction isn’t something you can do for her, give her space to do it for herself
On the second call pitch the meet up unless it is blatantly obvious that she wants to meet up on the first call or she pitches it to you there and then herself. Go right ahead.
Otherwise, no need to rush, especially when you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into yet. If you rush she will perceive your rushing for sex, which she’s probably ok with but can’t justify acting upon.
On the second call pitch the meet up. This isn’t rocket surgery. Have something going on and bring her along with you. I would propose that a girl come with me to check out something my brother recommended but I couldn’t tell her what it was. Other times I would propose she join me at a fashion event, shopping or coming with me to my favourite coffee place.
Don’t make it about you and her, make it about what she has to do to prepare. I would request that the girl come to my house and bring candy and beer. I was joking, but often times this happened.
I would also suggest what to wear, either something cute or something warm depending on what I had in mind.
Set the date, ideally have her come to your place first and you go from there. More day two info is for another post.
If you get a flake post call pre meet up don’t over react. You have options and other potential things going on.
The first date wasn’t going to be an extravagant affair anyway so it’s no loss. If I get a flake and I don’t consider it to be a great loss I will just tell her it’s cool and tell her to call me when she wants to meet up next. Then I leave it at that.
Eventually she will call when she realises that you are genuinely indifferent and live in abundance. If she’s pulling some immature bullshit then I will call her lame for being immature and lose interest then and there. If you want to continue with the girl don’t be afraid to call a few days later and start the phone game process all over again. First call then second call style.
Don’t sweat the who-calls-who-more ratio.
If your feeing adventurous bust on her for flaking you. If it’s for a reason like study, fatigue or some other transparent bullshit then it’s time to up the stakes. I ask her what her address is for INVITATIONAL PURPOSES, she then sends it to me (this is the case 100% of the time) and I simply go and pay her a visit.
Showing up where she’s at is congruent with my sense of entitlement, confidence and playfulness. If you are not congruent with these things then this could be tricky and come off weird. I have done this three times and have had three lays.
I drive to the location, find the girl and change her mood and mind right there. It’s very difficult to say no to a date to someone in person amplifying your state there in person saying “SKO, SKO, SKO!”
Generally it goes down like this (this is the epitome of persistence):
Girl: hey what are you doing here!?
You: Hey I was baking a cake and I needed a cup of sugar and I was in the neighbourhood so I thought I’d ask you because I am your neighbour (total illogicality).
You: Grab your coat! We’ll just hang out for fifteen minutes! SKO, SKO, SKO!
Girl’s mood is changed by having her state influenced in person and fifteen minutes turns into a full blown date. Be ultra light hearted and fun when you do this or IT WILL come off as creepy and weird.
Phone game is only really important between the meeting and hooking up. Once you have hooked up the girl will usually be invested beyond the point of no return.
In terms of text, I don’t go over the top with anything overly fancy except for some logistical organisation, meaningless sexual mis-interpretation banter, not trying for rapport and self amusement.
For more on text game consult our expert Ryan at
So, now you have a structural frame work for immediate application of very solid phone game.
But more importantly, in alignment with ‘a good interaction being the key to good phone game’, you know what it takes to interact in a way that will lead to getting the girl on the phone and to meet with you on a date.
If you can get a girl meeting you on a date you have to try really hard to mess it up from there.
More importantly, you understand the psychology and the contingencies behind the phone game, which will not only give you confidence in the process but the confidence will come through in the application of the process. You will know why you are doing what you are doing and you will know why it will work. Cognitive and social empowerment.
Go forth, close the deal…
And as my mentor would say:
“DATE, FUCK WIN”
Leave a comment if you learnt something.