About Alexander~ RSD
So I’m sitting here in Calgary after just spending another week partying. I just changed some people’s lives for the irreversible good, I spent the night with a local cutie last night and now I’m off to Denver city where I am planning to meet up with another cutie.
But life didn’t always used to be this way, far from it. The guy I used to be would mope around, listening to Coldplay crafting poetry and sniffing women’s hair I found collected in their bathroom sinks.
Well maybe not that creepy, but it definitely sucked. But as much as it sucked it made sense to me, it was familiar and to change anything about that would bring with it huge feelings of anxiety and vulnerability.
To change anything would call into question everything I thought I ever knew about the world. To do that would find me lost wandering amongst the world aimlessly. Not knowing who to serve or what my purpose is.
Socially conditioned I thought I had to pay my bills, buy the flowers and compose the poems. To even contemplate success was to call into question my socially conditioned sense of self. My reality.
And as shit as that reality was it’s all I had ever known. Who knew what might happen if I took a risk or took responsibility?
When I went to learn game I thought it would be possible to be good with girls operating out of this chode reality. While I did deliver some good lines and got my acting good enough to star in an American Sit-Com I was never got the results I knew I should.
But I couldn’t figure out why.
Tim says there are four types of guys in the world.
Unless you’re the naturally attractive guy you are never going to get girls and you will literally endure your dating life banging your head against the wall and your dick against your hand. Or an internet ‘fleshlight’ which I hear goes pretty good.
We all hear the saying ‘coming from the right place’. What this means is that you’re operating from the reality that you are natural sexworthy guy, in alignment with your biological nature.
If you are reading this I can pretty much guarantee that you are coming from a place other than your naturally attractive sex inspiring self. You might be an entertainer chode or just a tolerable nice guy, perhaps even a creepy fuck that watches the little mermaid while you shave you legs.
Doesn’t matter what you say, you will never communicate the same things as the guy who walks through life in the natural, default, sex inspiring reality.
I can tell you right now that if you’re the sort of guy who has to ‘game girls’ you will never get laid, unless she is kinda loopy. You might get some good superficial reactions but a shit tonne of LMR. But hey, you can tell your friends you’re a pimp right all the while your pleasure centres and penis will endure the dry truth.
To get laid and really get this part of your life handled you need to make an internal psychological shift. Change your very sense of self and your identity. You need to become the naturally attractive guy that’s inside of you. Executive coaches are examples of this.
The truth is if you’re not a naturally attractive guy right now you have an ego. This is characterised by chodey behaviour and it stands in place of your true intentions as a man, suppressing what would otherwise be attractive.
It’s called ‘pretending to be a chode’ and is a result of social conditioning. Where your deep natural desires would dictate exactly the right thing to do at any time to get girls your ‘pretending to be a chode ego’ will have you second guessing yourself and erroneously contemplating the right and wrong things to do when you are interacting with women.
Good thing is, once you make the shift from ‘pretending to be a chode’ there is no going back.
If you have ever met a five year old you have met a naturally attractive guy. If you have ever met a guy alcohol ‘buzzed’ enough to be carefree but still coherent you have met a naturally attractive guy.
In the case of the five year old, I’ll use my little cousin for an example; he is acting through his own intentions because he is not yet old enough to be compromised by social conditioning. In the case of the buzzed adult the alcohol has inhibited the part of his brain that applies social conditioning filters to his emotional desires. Of course if you get too ‘buzzed’ drunk you will become sloppy and desperate.
The point is the manual (your blueprint) to this process is embedded in your subconscious, but you have constructed chode ego over it during you upbringing and socially conditioned mapping of your reality. Chode ego is continually reinforced by repeated disciplinary slaps on the hand when you execute authentic masculine behaviour.
Interestingly, these disciplinary actions are only validated if you succumb to them. If you do not, and you are not breaking any laws it becomes a case of ‘that just who he is’ or ‘that just what he does’ and your behaviour becomes justifiable to those around you.
Think Stifler from American Pie or James Bond, both the characters were written with the intentions of compelling female audiences with the presentation of a man who is truly coming from the place of natural authenticity and behaving in accordance with his own intentions.
Let me make note that when I refer to a ‘naturally attractive man’, I refer to what is commonly known as your ‘nature’. The way you were born and the raw attraction inspiring state you radiate when you experience the nimbus.
Examine the diagram below. You are born prewired as a man who is hardwired to inspire attraction in women. On the right hand side of the graphic it shows your descent to ‘tolerable chode’ in light of social conditioning during adolescence and early adulthood.
If the sexworthy guy is the way your internal compass is aligned then to live as a tolerable guy, a creepy guy or an entertainer/nice guy you are just living thought the filter of an ego that isn’t congruent with who you are as a man. You’re coming from the wrong place.
Dating success will be rare if ever.
It is pushing into the new reality that will result in you consistently getting the hottest girls and with consistency comes the highlights.
If you aren’t getting the results you want you probably are aware of the fact that you aren’t as competent at pick up as you would like to be, and thus, this has inspired you to take the action of self actualisation which ultimately will require identity level change.
When approaching, projecting an ego that isn’t congruent with your internal compass, women will know that you aren’t being authentic and will pretty quickly blow you out. This lack of authenticity is due to you not following the actions of the guy you ACTUALLY ARE and instead deploying the actions of a chode you are PRETENDING TO BE.
For an example try this exercise: behave in a way that isn’t congruent to your core .
Think of your nationality and how proud you are to be of that nationality. The trait of your nationality is as intrinsic to you as your natural core. Think in terms of tribal belonging. If you have parents and grandparents of the same nationality, have lived on the land and breathed the air of your nation and grown on produce from your nation then your nation is INTRISICALLY PART OF YOU.
That is to say it is you.
Would you be proud to walk up to a girl and state your nationality? Of course you would. In fact you will probably feel pretty fantastic saying it. Parallel to true natural game it is the same as approaching and saying ‘hi my name is x’. This is pure expression.
Now what most guys do is like this. Think of a rival nation to you. No disrespect, but they are your sporting rival or whatever. Try if you can to say aloud words to the effect that ‘I hate my nation and I wish I was from (insert rival nation here)’. When these words come out of your mouth it can actually make you feel bad and weird.
In natural game it would be like approaching a girl and talking to her and trying to or pretend to be something that you’re not. There is no strength behind it and you don’t even like yourself for it. This is impression, actions with the intension of impressing something on someone else for a desired result or intention.
The golden rule of natural game: Whatever you feel; she feels.
When you take actions that don’t agree with your core, out of alignment with your internal compass, you feel bad and as a result make the girl feel bad. If you approach and genuinely understand and follow your own intentions you feel good as though you don’t care what anyone else think of you.
The result is the girl feels good.
To be anything other than aligned with the sexworthy guy inside of you is to communicate bad feelings. You will communicate low value when you put chode ego actions in front of your natural self. Topresent chode ego to girl in order to conceal your nature is to communicate that you don’t think your natural self is good enough for her. This is called having low self esteem, low self worth or a lack of self trust.
You communicate your value loud and clear to the girl before you even approach her. If you’re a guy who is constantly experiencing immediate bad reactions when you approach this will be due to a lack of congruence with your nature. Read through for the outline of what constitutes your nature below.
When I refer to the type of guy that you are I mean the ego-filter that holds you in your reality. This ego will dictate the way you communicate everything you do. In the context of pickup it is essential to communicate everything that you do through a high value filter. If you don’t simply won’t get the girl.
A high value filter is achieved by acting in alignment with your internal compass. By making an identity level change from the ‘pretending to be a chode ego’ you have now to your natural state of being as a man.
What I’m most interested in is how you get from your old reality to the new one. When I teach bootcamp it’s not case of teaching what you say or what you do, it’s a case of pushing you into a new reality. There are a lot of cool funny lines, great verbal structures, awesome gambits and various techniques as well. But none of them will be of any value whatsoever unless they are coming through the right filter.
To breach the threshold of a new reality is nigh on impossible on your own and almost always involves some objective intervention to inspire the process. Without the hands on interactivity and pressure to push forward you will remain like most guys and spend years milling over the internet for the missing piece of you game that might finally and get you laid.
A lot of guys review Bootcamp and say it’s awesome. But the thing is they can’t and don’t really articulate why because they consciously understand the process at hand. They feel it, they recognise it but because it is subconscious it’s very hard for the average guy to articulate something he can’t see and doesn’t fully understand.
Also, you will notice that guys don’t go on about how hot the girls were her hooked up with or number closed (I can assure there are heaps, a total newbie gets between four to six numbers per night if he actually asks for them). After program, he’s more interested in himself and his new potential. He is in a headspace of indifference to their aesthetic value, but he might still report the hotness to inspire others as an inspiration to commit to the process.
We say become the blank slate before program, press the reset button and do exactly as we say. The more the guy can switch off his old reality the quicker and easier we can push him into a reality where everything he says and does comes through the right filters.
Guys who resist these instructions will have difficult fully adhering to a new reality. I won’t let them leave program until they have experienced this, but the more he can let go and trust himself and the time honoured process of Bootcamp the more phenomenal his success will be.
The truer the process of identity level change will be.
But the process of identity level change can be like pushing a massive fucking rock up a hill. The closer you get to the top the more position energy resistance you will get and the more fatigued you will become. But once you get there it’s a sense of euphoria and it’s a breeze to roll down the other side that sounds like ‘whooooooosh’. On the other side of that hill – the new reality – it’s as if gravity like everything else is working for you.
In terms of making the identity level shift it’s a case of detaching from everything you know and going someplace where nothing makes sense. But given the fact that it doesn’t yet make sense it give you an opportunity to take ownership of it and interpret it in whatever way you want.
Examine the diagram below and reference with the following explanation of how it pertains to natural game.
What you’re looking at is a function of anxiety in relation to how close you get to ‘letting go’ and experiencing identity level change. If you look at the furthest left hand side of the blue line you can see that most people walk around the world in a constant state of anxiety. This is basically due to common insecurities and stressing about what other people think of them.
The further you move towards a different reality the more amplified your anxiety becomes because you are moving away from a comfortable place. The further you move away from the comfortable place you more you have to rely on yourself to deal with the unknown situations at hand. This is making the shift of being socially conditioned and being kept in place by ‘the system’ to overcoming it and having to rely on your own faculties.
The green double ended arrow that stretches from the comfort zone into the red anxiety zone is the progress of reality change that most people make. The further they move away from their comfort zone (which is usually a stifled socially conditioned life) the more uncertain they become of themselves as they realise that the responsibility is placed upon them.
This includes taking responsibility for negative repercussions that potentially occur and causes an acute rise in anxiety. Also the more a person has to take responsibility for their own actions the more present they become revealing awareness of the magnitude to which they are not in control of their own reality.
In their comfort zone they can be happily ignorant of the lack of control over their own life and remain anything but present. They experience comfort because they delude themselves to their reality. A socially conditioned reality is a constructed reality that people were not evolutionarily meant to be contained by.
Once people get closer to the new reality and anxiety increases people are inclined to regress back to the safety of their comfort zone. As a person moves proximally closer to a new reality the anxiety increases to a point that is nearly unbearable. For most it a lot easier not to endure it and simply ‘settle’ for the old externally controlled inferior reality where they remain ignorant to the better life they should be living. An externally defined reality of control.
The reality on the left is based on ego whereas the reality on the right is one of self esteem. Understand that for you to be conditioned into something that defies your natural state is to derive your sense of self from the word around you. A sense of self that is partially externally composed means you have an identity/persona/ego constructed. This keeps you in place socially and you are always at the mercy of your environment.
In the reality on the right you cease to compose your sense of self in accordance with external feedback. By letting go of concern for external factors your anxiety level drops markedly. When you trust yourself more than any other person you have no anxiety that others are going to let you down. You have no expectations of the world around you, the buck stops with you. You take responsibility for your actions and behaviour.
When you have no expectations of the world around you, when YOU define the world around you external factors don’t play a part in the composition of your sense of self. You lose your ego and operate purely though the default state of self esteem. You feel happy.
For those socially conditioned individuals willing enough to move far away enough from their comfort zone they go through a massive process of uncertainty that involves testing their emotions, their faculties and their resources as a human.
People who undergo this process rarely if ever find that they don’t have what it takes to trust in themselves and take responsibility for their reality. Admittedly it is very scary to undergo this process of exploring the unknown but really is only a cognitively constructed abstract concept that you fear.
Once this process is endured and you realise that you can actually deal with whatever situation life throws your way you realise that you can ACTUALLY take responsibility for yourself and survive. You become indifferent to life itself and any situation that might present itself.
This is the process of making the identity shift to internal trust an as a result you gain intrinsic high value. Once you realise you have been through this ordeal it’s like conquering a rite of passage.
After you conquer this everything becomes trivial to you and you literally walk through the world at ease with your hands firmly on the reins of your own reality. Your daily anxiety is far less than those around you still living in their socially conditioned world. You become a true alpha male and you instantly inspire attraction in the women you interact with. When life used to be a chore it is now merely a celebration.
Canned classic game is a chore while natural game is simply a celebration.
Emotionally and physically in a historical sense this isn’t the same process for women. Emotionally women experience a more unpredictable and turbulent set of emotion influencing hormones than men do.
Men, relative to women, will always have the natural emotional capacity of stronger self assurance. Physically women simply don’t have the same capabilities as men do and as a result will always experience more daily anxiety for their own safety and well being than men ever will. Of course I am talking strictly in terms of evolutionary cognition that is redundant in today’s society.
However, as far as natural attraction applies it is still as pertinent today as it was for your ancestors 200 generations before you. Emotional evolution ceased a long time ago and cognitive filters have since taken over our emotional lives. Men’s natural ability to self trust and live a life that results in significantly less anxiety is gender polarity, yin and yang. The two go together perfectly.
Importantly, after the process of identity level change, in light of the experience itself, there will be no going back to the old reality. After testing yourself and proving to yourself that you’re actually capable of dealing with anything that comes your way you will never revert back to the state of constant daily anxiety and self doubt that you used to confine you. You become a grounding source of energy for others around you and a leader of men and women. Your self-trust gives you a stronger frame then those around you and as a result people react more to you than you do to them.
Living this way, naturally and free of social conditioning, satisfies both sides of the attraction formula. The fact that you are more indifferent than everyone else makes you high value. The fact that you have a stronger self-trust and a stronger frame than others causes them to naturally react to you more than you react to them. Them reacting to you means they experience emotional spikes because of you.
Higher value plus eliciting emotions equals means you will inspire attraction in women.
This is why it is important to ‘man the fuck up’. Make the shift to a reality where you live ‘manned the fuck up’. This is to live in accordance with your nature. This is natural game.
If the above was the description of what happens mechanically during the identity level change process the following is what signifies the traits of both realities and what actually occurs in real life to facilitate the process.
Your existing reality is one of ‘pretending to be a chode’ ego and is socially conditioned.
Remember this was not always the case. This ‘chode ego’ is a result of people putting you in your place during your upbringing and putting limiting beliefs onto you. This reality and ego (same thing from different perspectives) stands in place of your natural default self.
Because this reality has been constructed for you and externally identifies you you live in a world where you don’t know who you are, you don’t give yourself permission for greatness and you do you trust yourself. Coming from this place you think your game is anything but a ten, you feel you are lower value than the girls you are talking to and you second guess yourself constantly, continually living in reaction to the girls you talk to.
In terms of the attraction formula you are lower value than the girls you talk to and they give you a range of emotions instead of you giving them a range of emotions.
Socially conditioned learning of the game will have you looking for things to strengthen your ego, your externally constructed sense of self. It’s like looking for secret weapons to use in field. You feel power in a way that you never did when you were just being yourself because you didn’t know who you were nor did you trust yourself on its socially conditioned own.
But, giving weaponry to a weak person they will still yield a weak attack. A weapon is only as good as the operator. To use an old game metaphor it’s like a mere band aid over a wounded self. Coming from this weak place, the socially conditioned reality, you keep looking for better and better weaponry, bigger and bigger guns, more clever technology to use in your battle to get girls.
All the time it’s still being operated by the same feeble individual. To desire to use weaponry to execute something that you should be able to execute naturally yourself is to overtly communicate weakness. In the context of the club this translates to you communicating to the girl that you are not a good enough guy for her as you are. You needed something extra special to compensate for your shortcomings to achieve confidence to approach her.
Mainstream school of pickup are always teaching something new and ego supportive but are missing the elusive obvious. It’s not the weaponry that gets the girl it has to be the operator. To need something special means that you are not good enough for the girl to begin with. To not be good enough for the girl to begin with means you are lower value.
To be lower value means you are not attractive and you won’t get laid.
The contrasting reality is your natural default reality. In your world you are the only common denominator and you live in accordance with this fact as you are the only thing in the world you can actually control.
A result of getting your reality under control is that people who don’t have their realities under control with flock to you magnetically in a search for self assurance they don’t yet possess.
In a self defined reality you are a leader and as a leader it’s at your discretion as to what to do with you power. You will find that it is in your nature to be generous and offer value to others as it gives you good feelings to guide others as a man.
In light of enduring the indifference threshold (rite of passage to the self defined reality) you acquire delusional self trust. This same delusion gives you confidence and abilities to do things that others would never even attempt to do. In a lot of cases undertaking a difficult task with confidence and self-trust are the only prerequisites to accomplishing it.
You enjoy challenges as they are a forum for you to celebrate yourself and push you outside of your comfort zone to a place where you need to draw the best out of yourself. It is in these situations that you exceed your own expectations of what you thought were capable of.
Because you do not derive your sense of self from the world around you you have no expectations of the world or your interaction with it. You know that the only constant in your reality is the way you take responsibility for your own reality. The only expectations you have is that your results are proportionate to the application of yourself to your goals. You take every responsibility for your goals.
While you take credit for things achieved or failed you do not identify with them. To do that is to derive a sense of self from the world around you and form and ego. Every goal is a new battle and a chance to celebrate yourself and challenge yourself in a way that again calls on you to bring your best. You are never above the process.
This attitude will never find you resting on your laurels. You are humble about your achievements; however you are still self assured to the point of arrogance that you will be able to deal with any new challenge that comes your way.
This humility finds you starting equal with every other man when undertaking a challenge. You are not above the process and you take responsibility for every aspect of it. You have no expectations that something external from yourself could provide assistance greater than what you can produce yourself. Challenges for you are a celebration of your unlimited potential and resourcefulness.
The fun is in the process and goal is just a bonus as you know that even if you achieve it doesn’t make you a better person. The achievement of goals enriches your life but you realise it will never change you or give you your identity.
Achieving goals is merely a celebration of yourself you and thus you treat it as a game. You have fun doing it. You are not detracting from anyone else as you don’t need them to complete yourself. As a result they often become compelled in what you are doing and cannot resist involvement with you.
In terms of the women you talk to you are always paying the game for you, not for the girl. You are playing the game for the derivation of your own fun.
Because you are playing for you and not for her you communicate that your value of yourself is greater than your value for her. The result is you inspire attraction. Your self-assurance is something that you have more of than she does.
(****NOTE: I refer to the fact that you have more self assurance than those still under the guise of social conditioning. I refer merely to the primitive social emotional world where men’s evolutionarily physiology gives them a stronger sense of self assurance than women naturally hormonally have. In modern society this isn’t the case, but behavioural traits still pertaining to natural gender differences will always inspire attraction.)
Because you realise that no one is going to take responsibility for your achieving your goals you also take every responsibility for the girl getting laid. This way she doesn’t feel slutty. You resolve her of responsibility and she can enjoy the feeling of empowerment from spending time with someone who knows who he is, knows what he wants and has no reason to believe he doesn’t deserve to achieve it.
You see pick up, like everything else, as a game. While other people enrich your life they still are only subordinate roles to you in your reality. You enjoy the way you celebrate yourself when in the game, but don’t really care if no result is gained. This is because you understand that ultimately scoring a girl doesn’t change who you are, its just a celebration of who you are and an enriching experience. you understand that if the women doesn’t realise your value that she will be left to less self assured men where she will find herself dissatisfied.
When you approach girls you feel exited because it is an opportunity to influence her and better her life. You involve her with what you are doing, never deviating from your own path in order to satisfy hers.
Your path is your primary purpose in life. Following your own path is the only purpose in life that will reliably yield an enriched life experience for you, following other’s paths with generally just yield enriched lives for them.
In this reality you are high value because you trust yourself and prioritise yourself before anyone else. Because people are less assured than you and look to you for guidance and assurance they experience emotional spikes because of you.
Your higher value combined with you eliciting a range of emotions in people because they are reacting to you will make you very attractive.
It is getting in touch with your natural reality as a man that is the key to mastering natural game.
To ‘identity change’ to this reality is to master the game. You would think that it would be easy to just adopt the traits listed above and master the game. But in an attempt to do this your anxiety levels will increase dramatically and you will feel a massive sense of vulnerability like you have been cut loose and you are on your own.
Even if someone who has gone through this gives you the instructions of how to get to this new reality you would think that you would follow instructions obediently and with their assistance successfully make the jump. For some it can be so scary to leave their little comfort zone that they refuse to just let it all go and trust themselves under pressure.
When I refer to the commonly used term ‘letting go’ I mean letting go of others’ influence and control over you and taking sole responsibility for your reality. Like the first time you swam and let go of the edge of the pool, once in the deep water it was as though you already knew how to do it. Up until that ‘leap point’ you were massively scared. Once you proved to yourself you could swim you were simply indifferent to the whole swimming process and it just becomes fun whether you do it well or not.
There is massive resistance for a person to go from one reality to another. The resistance is roughly proportionate to how strong the person’s existing socially conditioned chode ego is. They deliberately secure themselves in the chode ego because with it comes a weird constructed form of self assurance. They know who they are but its only because its firmly relevant to the world around them.
Said another way they develop chode ego so strong that they do form a very strong reality, but it’s that of complete chodeness that is continually reinforced by all the forces around them. They are put in place. They are really giving everyone else responsibility for who they are and taking zero responsibility for themself. So to question that reality and begin to take any responsibility for their own self is a massive terrifying daunting unknown.
Because they gave all the responsibility away to other people to define who they are, when they go to move to a new reality they have little to no recollection of what it means to take any responsibility for their own life.
In cases like this they consciously think that they would like to make a change but when they begin to take some responsibility the fact is quickly shoved in their face that they really have no idea of who they are and like a hermit crab quickly return to what they knew back in the chode comfort zone.
However, it is also in the cases of the biggest chode egos that the transformation is so rewarding and contrasting. One example of this is Tyler’s story. The effort to push into that new reality was a long and exhaustive one, but once the jump was made and the indifference threshold reached it required so much more anxiety than that of others’ journeys that in his new reality he was a lot much more indifferent than everyone else. This gave rise to the best results.
I can say from experience this is true of most of the coaches. The more emotional leverage you have the better you are inspired to become.
To endure the anxiety of moving away from your old reality is a terrifying daunting task. You are psychologically programmed to fear this as though it was death. To risk what you don’t know in caveman times is to result in death, so the fear of challenging your reality is comparable to fear of death. But its guys who aren’t afraid of death that are high value and leaders of other mean.
Naturally attractive alpha males.
They understand the fear and why it exists and with experience of overcoming the fear they overcome it and are indifferent to it. Irreversible identity level change.
During the learning process when you go at this on your own you will find yourself getting close to and sometimes tasting this reality. But each time you do with it will come feelings of vulnerability that will quickly have you regressing back to the old reality. Old bad neural patterns rearing their heads and holding you back.
After repeated strengthening of the neural structures that will come with your new reality you might occasionally have reality snapbacks and go about and behave the way you did in your former reality.
It’s as though you are subconsciously checking that what you’re doing is the right thing. When you do experience this reality snapback it will bring to light just how bad the old reality was, it might even shock you but it will be an obvious reminder to how bad it was to live in the old reality.
This reality snapback is your subconscious trying to take you back to a place of comfort and low risk. This serves the evolutionary process of gene preservation. The body is always trying to preserve itself and by living in a reality where other things take responsibility for you and you are required to exert least energy and thought possible.
It is the warrior reality where you exert the most energy and thought possible. You are taking responsibility. The warrior is the naturally attractive alpha male.
To find the warrior on your own is near impossible as you have continual reality snapbacks and quickly regress when you leave your comfort zone. It usually requires an objective intervention to make sure that you really do blast through the indifference threshold and not look back.
Now you might go out tonight and make a big effort to push into a new reality and that will be good, but to recognise that you are going in the right direction takes someone who has been through the process before and knows what it looks like.
To really achieve identity level change requires a combination of willpower, leverage, guidance and balls. You need willpower to make the decision to commit to the process and endure it in times of trial. You need leverage to give you the motivation to take responsibility for your own reality in the first place. The difference between an average guy out there in the world and an average guy in the community is the community guy had leverage. You need some guidance from a learned experienced resource to ensure you are going in the right direction who can objectively push you past your comfort zone without succumbing to the emotions involved subjectively. And you will need balls, because that’s what all of the above is and what it means to be a man.
This is the purpose of bootcamp and the massive value that it is. If you were to go out tonight and attempt this it is most likely the case that you wouldn’t push through to your true indifference threshold and you would quickly find yourself regressing back to a comfortable place. Secondly, to push forward an an effort for identity level change could be a disaster if you don’t exactly know what the natural identity is or have someone to model it from.
This is why RSD bootcamps have the value they do. You can watch and read tactics which is great, but its the life shifting experience that takes you to the next level and makes mastery possible. Before now it has been hard to articulate, but this is what it comes down to. Can former students attest to this?
Think of the process of identity level change – reality change – like the metaphor of a spider’s web.
Imagine you are born into a web and you are confined to live within the rules and bounds of it. Everything you do, ever actions you take is based on the web. As far as you know, without the web you will die. You don’t know if you can live without it as it makes up the very fabric of your existence. You exist relative to it, and because it controls you you live in a constant state of anxiety.
Then one day something happens and a little punkass kid moves nearby and you can see him killing other spiders around you with insect repellent (metaphor for leverage). You know that you are going to have to take responsibility for this and take some action otherwise you might die (metaphor for not passing on your genes).
As the punk ass kid approaches you are scared but you don’t move because you don’t know what else to do. He starts punching holes in the joins in your web (metaphor for destroying pillars of your existing reality).
With the destruction of each joint of your web (reality) your web becomes weaker and your anxiety increases. Your web (old reality) is becoming weaker and weaker; you have never felt more scared and anxious in all your life.
The web is now a fragment of what it used to be. Something you believe in and trusted no longer holds you in place. You have no choice but to take responsibility if you want to live.
You let go of the web (external pillars holding you in place) and jump, trusting that where ever you land you will be better than a certain fate of death. This trust is born simply of necessity; at this point you no longer have a choice. As you sail through the air wondering where you will land you realise that if you can get through this you can get through anything. Then with a light spider-thud you land.
When you stand up you feel overcome by a sense of empowerment. It’s as though you are invincible. You made it through the toughest ordeal of your life. Sure you have no reality. But you can exist without it.
Then by nature, you realise you can spin whatever reality you want by pulling it literally out of your ass. You realise how cool this is and look around for the best place to spin your new reality. It occurs to you that the new reality you spin will just be a celebration of you as opposed to something you are dependent upon. You can spin your reality however you want and you don’t even care if it falls down because you can just spin another one out of your ass.
When before you were in a reality to not lose, now you can spin a reality to win for no other reason than its a celebration of your ability to spin your own reality. In fact, you can make a reality so strong that you can invite other sexy ass spiders to come for sleepovers and pillow fights.
You spin your web/reality and at first it doesn’t feel quite like home and you will even think longing back to the old web, but soon you make it your own. You have defined your world and when before you didn’t think you deserved anything better than what you were served in life you realise that you are deserving of what you make for yourself. There is no reason why you wouldn’t be deserving of any reality unless you didn’t take responsibility for it yourself.
You know now that you are adaptable to any situation and at any time can just define your reality out of your ass. It seems that this is your birth right. Why didn’t you realise and trust yourself earlier? You spent all that time scared in chode web. ‘Fuck that’ you think and you go and make yourself a better web right now.
You feel empowered. You inspire others to build their webs around you because you are so assured of your reality and your having so much fun defining your own reality that others want to come over and visit you and be involved with you. You try to convince them that they can do the same but they are too scared to trust themselves. For the time being they just like being around you because of the certainty you radiate.
You web is like a nimbus around you, self defined projected reality that you can continually pull out of your ass.
That little story is called spider web theory and is a great way to help someone understand the abstract concept of identity level change.
Realise that in overcoming the anxiety and stepping into a new reality involves some feeling of vulnerability at first, embrace them and look to your ass to start defining how you are going to build a reality of your choice. At first it might feel a little bit foreign, but when you go back to your old reality you will be reminded of how much it disgusted you and you never look back again.
I remember when I undertook this process back in Bris-vegas. I was a part of a reality that involved other people. When I went to destroy my own others tried to prevent me and keep me in place. I was met with some heavy resistance and ultimately had to redefine my reality and cut ties with some people. It was a better reality without them and it made space to include a lot of other better people, especially girls. After a while the original haters began to get with the program.
Others have said this before: others don’t hate you for changing, they hate on you because you call their reality into question. You make up a link in their web and when that link comes undone they question the other links and begin to feel vulnerable and experience the anxiety. This is especially true of other alpha males. You might need to have a frame battle, or even a physical battle as it was in my case. But as they say, the stronger reality (frame) eventually wins.
When I began to change guys would say to me shit like ‘you’re trying to be something that you’re not’. What the fuck? That’s the idea. The interesting thing is, if they met the new me it would be a lot cooler than meeting the old me.
If, when experiencing identity level change guys do hate on you there is a way to deal with it. Say this to them: “dude… fuck you. Look, I lost someone who was really close to me. And basically it has put shit into perspective. Shit needs to change for me, I was really shaken up by things and now things need to change for the better. So if you can’t deal with that: fuck off. But if you then let’s move forward and get on with shit.”
This was deployed a few times by me. If you lose a family member or close friend that can actually inspire the same leverage that you might get from being cheated on, divorced or any other emotionally turbulent episode. When someone hears that you have gone through that they can understand your identity level change and embrace it with you. In that case my example: who did you lose? Your old chode self, it was certainly a emotionally turbulent episode.
It is the emotional turbulence itself that is the very causality behind the change. When you boil it down its when you cry that you change fundamentality as a person. I’m still trying to find good research on this so if anyone knows any science behind the correlation between emotional centring and crying let me know.
I don’t know the physiological or neurochemical process but the times I see myself and other people fundamentally change is when they cry. Crying can come from emotionally distressing episodes or emotionally euphoric episodes. Sometimes it can be one and the same thing.
In the case of euphoric crying you make the realisation that you actually are capable of the phenomenal and it’s a release of emotions. For example when you save someone’s life, have a child or conquer a great feat like hiking Everest or winning a sports final. You will always know that it’s within you and passed all the tests. Things that once intimidated you are now looked at as though they’re no longer a big deal. This is emotional centring.
On the other hand when you cry due to distress it’s a case of hurt. But it’s usually you surviving something that scared you to death. This occurs the same way as when you break up with a loved one, when you lose someone close to you who played a pivotal part in your reality (which most people depend on) or you have a near death experience and survived it. In light of these experiences you realise that you made it though and things that once scared you or inspired anxiety are put into perspective. You become indifferent to them, this also is emotional centring.
Emotional centring means you have taken control of your own emotions and no longer allow others or external forces to effect you. Because you are more emotionally indifferent you are higher value. You are no longer reactive to the world (reality) around you, but now the world and reality lives in reaction to you. It is defined as a function of the way you take responsibility for it.
How does this help you to get girls? The way you live will dictate whether or not you satisfy the RSD attraction formula.
In your existing reality (identity) you are not indifferent, that is to say that ‘you do give a fuck what people think of you’. This will be both mean that you want people to think certain things of you (ego) and you don’t want them to think bad things of you (ego preservation). Because you care, you are intrinsically lower value. And it won’t matter what you say or do, what ego tools you employ, your weaponry is only as good as the operator employing them. Because you live in reaction to your reality (ego projection and ego defence) the world will continually shake you emotionally. While this is happening you will rarely have people reacting, be intolerant to social pressure and not elicit emotions in the girls that you talk to.
When you do make the reality jump, when you do just fucking let go and trust in yourself, drop the pretending to be a chode ego and take responsibility for your own reality everything will fall into place. You will literally look at the world through different eyes. Because you care less than the people around you and have generally indifferent to everything you will communicate higher value everywhere you go. Because you are supremely indifferent you will react less than the girls you interact with, you will establish a stronger frame and they will find themselves reacting to you just because of the way you are. You will elicit emotions and arousal in the women you talk to just by being you.
To adopt this reality is to be supremely naturally attractive. Identity level change equates to massive success with women.
To identity level change means you will come full circle and realign your internal compass with the man you were naturally born to be. You are now coming from the right place. Just by being you naturally will inspire attraction in women. Being your natural self is natural game.
Define your new reality. Defining your own reality includes the people around you. During this process they will experience emotional spikes just by being around you. These emotional spikes might come in the form of fun, dominance, persistence anger, fury or whatever. Just by taking responsibility for yourself, being on your path, you will elicit emotions in the women you interact with.
Some people will resist your reality, but as a man it’s your responsibility to resist being categorized by others. You might experience a frame battle, hold true and establish the stronger frame and establish that you have higher value.
To be categorized externally is to be socially conditioned. No one else categorizes you so you don’t form your sense of self in terms of external feedback, you have no ego. Being unstifled and uncategorized leaves you living in a fluid self defined reality of pure self esteem. No ego means no ‘chode ego’ behavioural filters, means you are back to your nature. This is how you get natural game.
Get this and you become a rare and special entity.
Remember the golden rule of natural game is: ‘whatever you feel: she feels’.
In your ‘pretending to be a chode ego’ how do you feel? Scared, unsure of who you are, anxious, nervous, self distrusting, victimised, feminine and needy. Lost.
In your natural default reality how do you feel? Relaxed and chilled due to minimal anxiety. Empowered, confident, self trusting, celebrated, content and masculine. Happy.
Whatever you feel, she feels. Take responsibility.
With great responsibility comes great power.