Why is it important to be attractive to women during cold-approach pick-up?
It’s important to be attractive to women during cold-approach pick-up because attraction triggers an instinctual evolutionary reaction in women that compels them to want to become intimate with you. If you want to get the girl, you have to be attractive to her.
Women sense the world through two filters. Their conscious socially-conditioned filter and their subconscious instinctual filter. You need to understand this and fulfil both levels of attraction to achieve attraction and compel a woman to want to become intimate with you.
That’s why it’s not enough to just be impressive in a socially conditioned way with money, status, a good job and good looking. Nor can being a ruggedly attractive, strong or powerful and masculine. You need to tick both boxes.
Women’s attraction process works differently from you as a guy. On first impression, instead of automatically thinking a guy is attractive or not, she automatically categorises a guy as ‘not her type’ or ‘interesting and might potentially be attractive’ – call it potentially attractive.
NOT a straight up categorisation of ‘attractive’ unless you already has status or are the exact archetype of a guy she thought was attractive before you met her. From cold approach I’m assuming that you’re not in a pre-perceived attractive archetype.
But most of the time women are so inside their heads with social conditioning that their thought are filled with self-conscious trains of thought that they don’t even get to the stage of categorising guys as ‘not their type’ or ‘potentially attractive’. On cold approach this mean that 90% of the time you will not get a reaction where the girl appears to be attracted to you. Understand and embrace that fact and don’t get down when you don’t get positive external reinforcement from women on cold-approach.
For women, there are many more ‘potentially attractive’ guy in their lives occupying their perception than there are attractive women in a (sober) man’s life. So, women seem to have a far greater abundance of selectivity with mates then men do. But it wouldn’t be accurate to say that women have more abundance then men. Women have much more potential abundance than men. Beta males have no abundance. Alpha males have massive abundance because they can fulfil potential attraction in any woman with time and logistics. Many average women might be potentially attracted to the alpha males, but the (sober) alpha males only get attracted to a select few of the women. There is not a direct man-woman abundance comparison here.
If you are not categorised badly and a girl sees you as potentially attractive its almost meaningless until you take action.
Potentially attractive means that a woman perceives you the same as dozens of other guys that she might meet that day, and dozens of guys she already knows and is potentially attracted to. Women are socially-conditioned to not be slutty so they tune out their potential attraction to plenty of new guys they meet – even if that guy is exceptional. What that means for the cold-approach is that even if you are potentially attractive type of guy, the woman is blocking it out form there start – negative reactions from cold approach. So what you have to do is spend a little more time with her, have exceptional value (later article in attraction series), or exceptional understanding of arousal dynamics (later article in the series) open her eyes to her potential attraction for you. In short to do this: be high value and have long interactions with plenty of face time.
What does potentially attractive mean and how do you turn the potential attraction into actual attraction that leads to the girl becoming compelled to want to be intimate with you?
Potential attraction, plus time spent together leads to actual attraction. Triggering evolutionary feelings of desire for intimacy (get the girl).
Time spent together establishes two key things.
One “HV”. That time that you spend together establishes an inevitable man to a woman dynamic (remember I’m running with the assumption that you’re well on the way to internalizing that there’s no reason why you’re not enough). In the man to a woman dynamic the woman will react to you more than you do to her, meaning that your actions cause arousal (interchangeable word with attraction) in her and the way that she behaves around you is based on her own SELF GENERATED arousal in her mind and emotions in regards to you. Time spent together means man to a woman dynamic where you react less to her than she does to you. Triggers feelings for desire for intimacy.
Two “±E”. Spending time together (chatting up girls) builds trust and opens up the emotional bandwidth; the wider the connection, the stronger the exchange of emotion, the richer the arousal. With a good understanding emotional dynamics you can accelerate this bandwidth fast, and therefore accelerate attraction fast.
So to be attractive to women you need to have a strong sense of self, and a wide range of expression, both physical and verbal. This causes direct arousal from your influence to her perception AND causes her to create arousal on her own toward you on her own when you’re not there.
With converting potential attracting into actual attraction then you’re well on the way to getting the girl. The hard part is getting past the social conditioning and then using www.alexattitide.com knowhow to establish proper man to a woman relationship (HV) and express emotions cleverly to create arousal (±E)
I don’t want to get ahead of myself with extra content before next weeks article. Watch the video closely to take in more implications and remove your misunderstandings so you can get on with being attractive and inspiring attraction to get more girls next time you’re out cold-approaching!
Question please let me know below!
[Bonus Video Below]
Real Social Dynamics