Somebody asked me recently on rsdnation: “What does it mean to have a strong reality, and why is it even important?” This was asked on a forum that focuses on how to be attractive to women and how to be good at picking up girls.

The short answer to this question is: a strong reality is when you have a strong sense of self and a very strong understanding and perception of the world around you, to the point where you play a part in defining it. The reason why it is important is because as a guy, you will always be able to have a stronger reality than women. Men have an ability to have a stronger reality than women (in an emotional and social sense), because you can have a stronger reality than women, you have something that they don’t and that is something of value to them. This makes you attractive. Most importantly, when you have a strong reality you automatically behave in a way that inspires a woman’s attraction triggers. Attraction means getting girls; this was the purpose of the question.

That’s a pretty complicated short answer with many different components. It begs the following questions: What makes a reality strong? How do I know when it’s strong? What is a perception of the world? What does it have to do with your sense of self? What are the differences between men’s realities and women’s realities? If I don’t have a strong reality, how can I get one – and how can I keep it? How does having a strong reality make you behave in attractive ways? All these things are massively important to being good with women, but for most people they have no idea this paradigm exists, or even what it means. So, I’d better answer the questions for everyone so your reality can be stronger, you can behave in attractive ways and get lots of hot girls in your life.

First of all you need to understand why it’s important for a human to have a strong reality. Human beings, unlike most organisms on Earth are social creatures. The reason why we have evolved in the way that we have is because we have a co-dependence on other people in our society or tribe. In societies and tribes there is a culture, or a socially-conditioned standard. In modern society, our culture is socially-conditioned in ways that keep people in place, that way they won’t clash with each other, kill each other and continue to drive primal natural selection.

So, because humans have evolved to want to fit into the culture, they strive to form an identity that contributes to, and is recognized, by their culture. Everyone wants to fit in and be acknowledged by everyone around them. The usual way of forming a strong reality is the age old struggle to fit in and feel special. For example, take a 14th century village. There is the village doctor, the village blacksmith, the village drunk and the village idiot. Each of these people have a role in society and they are acknowledged for their role. When people meet them, they immediately understand who they are and what they do. That way, they fit in. The more they fit in, the more the collective co-dependence of human society will protect them. When each of these people fit into society, they feel secure.

This feeling of security gives these people a strong reality. The feeling of security, and the formation of a strong reality –be it village doctor or village drunk – brings with it good feelings. On the deepest level, good feeling is the natural innate impulse that drives every human being in every single thing they do.
The reason why a modern day bum, or the example of the village idiot, can live the way they do is that they feel secure in who they are and what they do, and this gives them a good feeling. The good feeling that comes from feeling secure is significantly more powerful than the good feelings that comes from having money and being respected. That is the importance of fitting into human society and culture. When you understand this, it will become clear why people let themselves identify with being assholes, bums, drunks, victims or any other negative identity. They then, at least, have something to identity with that gives them a strong reality – that makes them feel good, because they feel secure…

People will look to have ‘who they are’ reinforced over and over again, in the things that they do and the ways in which they behave. For example, sometimes you will meet stoners who make a point to brag about how ‘fucked up’ they got. Or you might meet an athlete who makes a point to drop into conversation how well he played. You might meet a village drunk who will introduce himself to you as the village drunk. In the community, you might meet someone who identifies with being a victim or a chode. Even though he doesn’t want to be a chode, he automatically and unconsciously does things to reinforce it because the human brain has evolved to try and reinforce its sense of self, so that the owner of the brain fits into society and survives.

By that same standard, if you met a doctor and you failed to acknowledge him in the way that he wanted you to acknowledge him, then his ego (sense of self or identity) would be bruised or he would work hard to get your acknowledgement or validation. You as a human are part of their society and another potential point of leverage for people to use to reinforce their reality and feel good.

In understanding that all people are always seeking validation and acknowledgement from the other people around them to fit into society, you will also understand that your strength of reality will always be determined by how others see you. Furthermore, you will understand that you will always be at the mercy of how others see you – which carries with it massive amounts of anxiety or bad feelings because you worry about not fitting in. So most people set out to make themselves rich, famous or something they THINK will get them massive and consistent acknowledgement from everyone they meet, to give them a massive and consistent good feeling. Some people do achieve this, like successful movie stars, rock stars, drug lords or sports stars. They would have a massively strong reality because everyone acknowledges them consistently for their role in society.

But the bigger this bubble of acknowledgment grows, the more potential it has to burst. That is to say, as good as you can feel and as strong as your reality can grow through consistent social acknowledgment, it can also feel just as bad if you don’t get acknowledged and then your reality can be shattered. Similar to an Achilles heel.

A great example are rock stars. They strive to become a great musician and they strive to become well-known and famous. Soon, if they are good enough and they do become famous, then everyone knows their name and they know what they are famous for. At this point, they would be on top of the world and think they have realized what they set out to achieve – a super strong and invincible reality. Everyone sees them the way they want to be seen, which leads the rock star to see himself the way everyone is seeing him. Because he, like all human beings, understands that fitting into society is important for survival, he takes society’s perception of him seriously.

But, if society turns on the rock star or questions the rock star then he will be inclined to take the criticism just as seriously as he took the positive reinforcement. In interviews with rock stars, they often say that the fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Many rock stars end up turning to drugs to deal with problems arising from skewed and intense fluctuations in social feedback and fluctuations in their reality. With the fluctuations in their reality comes fluctuations in how good they can feel about themselves. Drugs are often the answer because only they can provide a feeling good enough to rival the sort of social validation that a rock star gets.

Interestingly, I think a person’s innate awareness of their society provides a biological explanation for peoples’ spirituality. If every human is born with a mechanism in their brain to be aware of the higher power that is their society around them – which they need to fit into to survive, could it be that this is misunderstood by most people as God, religion or spirituality?
That distinct feeling that most people get of a ‘higher power’ or of something that is bigger than them is interpreted by a lot of people to be a God or a spiritual force. I wonder if this distinct feeling of a higher power isn’t actually a God or a spiritual force, but rather just every human being’s evolved mechanism in their brain that makes them acutely aware of, and pay respect to, the society in which they belong?

People fear, trust, have faith in and react to Gods and spirituality in the same way that they fear, trust have faith in and react to their society and the people around them. I Personally believe in evolutionary theory, but always wondered why I had distinct feelings of spirituality that others attributed to religion. I could never reconcile the two. My best guess now is that the spiritual feeling I experienced was my innate awareness of a higher power that isn’t the work of God or deities, but rather my inborn evolved mechanism in my physical brain that serves to pay attention to the social culture around me.

Awareness of society as a higher power helps me to understand that I belong to a bigger force, human society, that I depend on to survive. I, like everyone else, is biologically driven to fit in more and more, to build a strong reality as reinforced and validated by the people around me.

This need for an externally reinforced reality and a desire to fit in is true for most people, but not alpha males and those who have alpha mindsets. Understanding that spiritual feelings and that your awareness of a higher power is just an evolved mechanism in your brain is very important when it comes time to trusting yourself and making your own decisions that go against the way you have been socially conditioned.

Once we establish the fact that most people are striving to form and reinforce their reality, we can understand and explain why, for the most part, everyone you meet is insecure in one way or another. Usually people are a lot less secure than the way they behave when they’re around you and the way they interact with you. These feelings of insecurity go hand-in-hand with feelings of un-fulfillment, which most people struggle with on a daily basis. Feelings of un-fulfillment means you will be unattractive, and it means you won’t pick up girls for a few reasons. Firstly, girls are attracted to guys who are natural and the first sign of a natural guy is if he feels fulfilled in life and with himself, usually exhibited by an overt good feeling or state – if the guy feels fulfilled and good he will instantly inspire attraction in the girl. Secondly by nature, the way a man forms his reality is different to the way a woman forms her reality.

Ultimately, a man has an ability to have a stronger reality than a woman, so if you have feelings of fulfilment and good state as a result it’s a reflection that you have a strong reality and you have something of value to her, and she is attracted to you because you can offer her a sense of security and the good feeling she gets from that. This means you will be better at picking up the girl because the girl will instantly categorize you as the sort of guy she would want to be with.

A strong reality can come in two forms, but both of these forms are characterised by certain behaviours. When I did my Bootcamp many moons ago at a time when the Blueprint was still on the cusp of release, JLAIX taught me the importance of four things: core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and being assertive. To be honest I didn’t really understand what these things meant, nor did I have any idea how it would help me pick up girls, and at the time I was pretty deeply immersed in all things self-help. So I imagine that other less learned students of the game would really struggle with comprehending these concepts, let alone implementing them…

Core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and being assertive are all behaviours that inspire attraction in women. Not because of the behaviours themselves, but because they are the markers that you’re an alpha male – and thus, desirable to be with. On a superficial seminar level on bootcamp, these things made no sense to me, because they can’t be internalized through a seminar or reading online. They need to be internalised through life experience, and during my bootcamp those things were indeed internalized and have continued to be ever since.

These things inspire attraction in women because men form their reality differently than women. The difference in men’s and women’s realities provide mutual evolutionary advantage, which has driven natural selection and left us with the genes we have inherited today. One way to demonstrate this difference is the caveman example, where men do the choosing and make the decisions and women vie to be chosen – or that man take risks to make progress and women question taking risks to mitigate danger. Again, of course, I’m just speaking emotionally and socially. In modern day, women and men are completely equal. But it is in the emotional and social realm that attraction and picking up girls exists. While men and women should form their realities differently, most men don’t behave like real men or ‘alpha males’. Instead, they act like women as well. These sorts of guys are called beta males, but are more well known as little bitches.

Before we look at the way a strong male reality is formed with core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and being assertive, we first need to look at the female reality and beta male realty – which is one and the same thing. For the purpose of understanding this, think of it in terms of females, beta males and alpha males in caveman times. The alpha male has an alpha reality and is self-reliant, so much so that others look to rely and depend on him. The females and the beta males have to rely on others. In a physical sense, all men have the potential to rely on themselves whereas women do not, especially during pregnancy – the primary difference between men and women.
Through the process of evolution, women have developed an alpha/beta recognition system that rivals telepathic mind reading. When they sense the alpha male, they feel very strong attraction. When they sense the beta, they feel no attraction at all. If you can inspire women to feel attraction, then you pick up girls. If you can’t do this, then you won’t – and there are a lot of people out there who don’t get laid.

In animal culture, all the females have an innate urge to mate with the one alpha male, whereas the beta males get left behind in the gene pool. This is not necessarily true in human culture, but it’s a similar dynamic. All the females look at the alpha male first and do silly things to make him their own (if they have the self-esteem to think they’re good enough for him). A commonly recited fact is that 20% of guys sleep with 80% of women. This is true – the men who behave like alpha males in today’s society sleep with all of the women. Those that don’t are not alpha males and are not getting laid. In modern society, how do women know if a man is an alpha male or not?

In this day and age, there are probably a lot of men who have enough money to be self-reliant (a provider) and have a woman rely on him, yet these men don’t behave like alpha males. Through natural selection. women are simply hard-wired to be attracted to men who BEHAVE like alpha males. The way alpha males behave is with core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and being assertive – the same ways that primitive males behaved in ancient times that caused females to evolve a recognition system in their brain that feels attraction for men who behave in certain ways, regardless of their modern day social status.

A ‘modern day alpha male’ might be the head of a corporation, someone who inherited a company or someone born into privilege, but because they didn’t earn it or because reality has taken responsibility for them, instead of them having to become an alpha male by taking responsibility for their reality, many ‘modern-day alpha males’ don’t behave with core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value or being assertive, and hence they do not inspire attraction. Sometimes ‘modern day alpha-males’ do have the mindsets and behaviours of a traditional alpha male – Donald Trump is an example of this. Even though he is not the prettiest looking billionaire, I would image that if he was to lose his fortunes he would still inspire attraction in women. His mindsets and behaviours that have led to him to massive international business success would be the same mindsets and behaviours that would inspire attraction in women. Richard Branson is another example of this

There is the Alpha male reality and there is the Beta male/female realities. This is best described diagrammatically.

The most important thing to note is that the Beta/female reality is held in place by forces projecting inwards onto it from the world around it. It’s held in place by society and social feedback. The more it is held in place, the more social reinforcement an beta male/female receives, the stronger their reality is going to be. This is a representation of the notion of a ‘bucket with a hole in it’. It is the sense of self and reality that cannot be fulfilled and continually requires external reinforcement. So much so that it can literally become a draining force on others around it. If I was to show this diagrammatically it would look like this. This is the same dynamic as a black hole – you don’t want to be a social black hole.

Contrary to the alpha male traits of core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and being assertive the beta male/female reality is the opposite in all of these respects. Because alpha males and beta males are so polarised – significantly different – it’s very straightforward for a woman to instantly tell if any man is an alpha male, and attractive, or a beta male, and unattractive, immediately at the very moment she lays eyes on him. Usually this impression will be made sometime before you even start talking to the girl on your way to approaching her. So, understanding this, and how to be alpha, is extremely important if you want to form a strong reality, be attractive and have success when picking up girls.

Alpha males have core confidence – betas/females seeks validation for confidence and are only contextually confident. They only feel confident when others give them permission. Alpha males are unreactive, beta males will react and ‘take to heart’ the opinions and actions of everyone around them, always seemingly fighting an uphill battle to be noticed, respected or taken seriously. Alpha males offer value – betas males suck value like black holes. As shown in the diagram beta males say things and take actions in order to get others to acknowledge them. For example, people who take value often throw out conversational threads that are ‘fishing for compliments’; “My first class trip to Paris was pretty cool.”

Saying this is like the internal arrow coming from the place of small self esteem trying to project themself outwards to compensate for diminished self-esteem and is intended to project out to try and suck in reactions and validation, as demonstrated by the arrows projecting inwards onto the false and projected reality. At the same time, beta males’ realities don’t just take value but they are defensive – they take actions to project defences against their diminished self-esteem being exposed. These actions and negativity are also coming from a place of diminished self-esteem. Alpha males are assertive – betas/females are passive, easily lead and lack in self trust and internal centeredness. One needs to know themselves and trust themselves to be assertive, beta males and females don’t know themselves in the way alphas do.

But because this beta/female reality is perpetually reinforcing, it does actually become quite strong. Think of the example of the teenaged female pop singer. If everyone tells her that she is awesome, she will think she’s awesome, but not because of internal confidence but because everyone told her she was allowed to have confidence. But such external confidence is fleeting and cannot be sustained. So, the minute the external validation ceases to be projected onto the pop singer, she’s going to be compelled to take actions to try and re-establish the former good feelings she was getting. But because she’s chasing reactions, it will be coming from a place of diminished self-esteem and have a negative feeling about it. This is the same way that most beta males approach women. Maybe at one time in their life they had a girl give them a compliment or do something that validated them, which left them desperate to have that validation and the good feelings that came from it replicated or reinforced. It’s a negative self-perpetuating cycle that leads to the creation of chodes.

If you are a beta male or a female your reality can take any shape or form as long as it is something that is re-enforceable. The more it can be externally reinforced, the stronger your reality will be, the more you will feel like you fit in somewhere, the more secure you will feel, and from a secure reinforced feeling comes a good feeling. Although it seems like madness to think that some people will feel good from being a chode, let me explain how chodes are born. Imagine a beta male thinks that he can be a pick-up artist. He goes out and creates actions that come from a place of diminished self-esteem. He’s trying to create a strong reality of ‘pick-up artist’. But because he’s ultimately taking value by being a beta male, he won’t be attractive and girls won’t like him. So, he will have the fact that he’s a chode reinforced so many times that soon he will just think that he’s a chode. Soon, he will become frustrated with all the bad feelings associated with trying to become a pick-up artist and quit trying because his primary drive as a human to live in a strong reality won’t materialize. Instead, he will accept he is a chode and look to reinforce that by taking no more actions. When he takes no more actions, the chode reality will become reinforced, a form of reality that will at least yield some good feelings that come due to an externally reinforced reality that leads to a secure feeling.

This creation of the chode happens during the time teenage boys are going through social conditioning. They set out trying to get girls – they have mixed success, but at least some success early on, and then they strive for more success with girls to reinforce their reality in which they’re popular with girls and feel secure. But, as they get older they have to compete with older males who have gone before them who easily eclipse them and put them into place as beta males to them. So their chode reality is reinforced by the older alpha males that they’re eclipsed by, and they quit trying. Viola, modern day society is creating armies of chodes – about 80% or more of the male population. By the way, there are groups of alphas somewhere in ivory towers or running international banks that are eclipsing all of us and socially conditioning us, reinforcing that the average guy is just a chode – and that he should think and behave like a chode.

The more a female reality or a beta chode reality is reinforced by external influences, the stronger the reality gets.

Above is a reality scale. On the left of the centre axis is an alpha reality and on the right is a beta reality or a female reality. For the alpha reality, the more influence it has the stronger the strength of reality becomes. For the beta males and females, the more it gets externally held in place and reinforced by society, the stronger it becomes. Remember that a human’s primary drive is a strong reality and most people are females and beta males all interacting with each other seeking contextual confidence, being reactive, taking value and being passive and victims of their surroundings. Suffice to say, society is in a bad way, but at least the few alpha males in the ivory towers have everyone ‘under the thumb’ which prevents the bloodshed and social chaos that has been the way of life since humans became humans.

But most men aren’t born as chodes, they are free-willed and rambunctious children that act on their own intentions in the same way that alpha males do. All men have the potential to be alpha, but most get socially conditioned. Imagine that when a male is born he is at the bottom of the reality scale and in the middle. He both needs to rely on society around him and at the same time has ample impulses to express himself, adventure, take risks and push the boundaries of his influence.

As males go through life they will have experiences. Experience itself will strengthen a man’s reality in one way or another. Life experience is directly proportionate to time. Even if you are doing nothing with your time, being passive and reactive to the world, this will constitute your life experience and the reality that you live in. If you are socially conditioned in this society you will be told to ‘sit down and shut up’. You will inevitably move from the weak reality centre point in the middle of the scale towards a beta reality. But at the same time you will constantly have underlying innate urges to be assertive, take risks and take responsibility for your reality instead of letting other people push you around. Most men have a weak reality because they continually swing between a reality where they obey social conditioning but want to be more proactive, and a reality where they take their own initiatives against social conditioning and do things their own way without wanting to stray too far away from the social standards that everyone around them lives by. Most men’s realities exist somewhere in this part of the scale, marked in blue.

Guys who exist on this part of the reality scale are characterized by having a lot of self-doubt, identity crises and inconsistency in the way they interact with other people. After a while, most succumb to social conditioning and succumb to a ‘chodey’ socially-conditioned reality. At least with this passive succumbing comes some good feelings, due to a sense of security in a strong reality that is continually reinforced, shown in blue below.

Girls by nature have an externally-defined reality and it’s their sole purpose to have this reinforced through life, ideally by an influential alpha male. In modern day society, that would be a respected guy in the community or someone who is well-established and reliable. A young girl in society who is attractive, in good shape, educated and youthfully enthusiastic will be treated well by everyone. Her reality will be continually reinforced by everyone she meets and she will also take actions to retain good external reinforcement. This way she can get a good feeling through her having a secure reality. A hot girl’s reality would fall somewhere on this part of the reality scale, shown in pink.

For a hot girl, everything is given to her. She is adored and continuously complimented. Her reality is continuously and fortuitously strengthened. For young guys the same age as the hot girls, or guys without established contextual confidence, their reality is weaker than the girl’s and thus they don’t feel as good about themselves as the girls they’re trying to pick up. When a guy with a weak reality tries to approach a hot girl, who usually has a very strong reality, it would compare like this:

The girl can see what type of a guy he is, instantly – even before the guy starts talking to her – and she will usually blow the guy off immediately. When pick up gurus say that you need to be cooler than the girl, they mean that you need to have a stronger reality than the girl and have a better internal feeling than she does, through a secure sense of self.

In terms of guys with externally-defined realities like rock stars, drug lords, sports stars or rich business chodes, their contextual confidence RELATIVE to other people who also live in their externally-defined realities is stronger. So these guys with contextual confidence have more unreactiveness, can offer more value and be more assertive, as long as it exists in the bounds of their contextual confidence. Even though these guys only have contextual confidence in their context, they can afford to behave in similar ways to an alpha male. And of course these behaviours, in context, inspire attraction in the girls the interact with. An example of a rock star talking to a groupie, or a college quarterback talking to his cheerleaders would compare like this, where the guy has the stronger reality and therefore has a better feeling about himself through sense of security of self:

To be the guy with the most contextual confidence is a difficult thing to do. To be the best football player, the biggest pimp, the most hardcore drug lord or the rock star is near to impossible. These guys think and act in ways that inspire attraction because everyone gave them that permission. But in the realities of the 99% of guys trying to get into their positions, they don’t have the permission from others or the contextual confidence to think and behave in ways that inspire attraction in women – so they don’t get girlfriends. Even in the case of the rock star, drug dealer, sports star or business mogul, their title and contextual confidence is a fleeting and inconsistent thing, and like beta male and female realities their’s is a reality that is essentially a bucket with a hole in it that can never be filled. This type of contextual confidence game cannot be sustained. Sooner or later, the crutch will be kicked out from under the externally-formed reality and the reality comes crashing down like a house of cards.

This is called an identity crisis. When your reality comes crashing down you can lose your girl among many other things. This is why a lot of budding pick-up artists can pick up girls inconsistently, but struggle to keep the girls when they do. Again, this is why so many people turn to drugs – to escape the seemingly insurmountable task of being internally-fulfilled and attractive to women.

Remember, it’s not what you do, who you are, your social status or your bank account that inspires attraction in women. It’s the way you behave that inspires attraction in women. Granted that enough money, status, or notoriety can lead you to think you are allowed to act in alpha ways. But really, any guy can act in ways that inspire attraction in women because any guy has the potential to be an alpha male.

A straightforward way to summarize the combination of core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and assertiveness is with the word CONFIDENCE. Confidence is a mindset that is reflected in a man’s behaviour. It is the ways a man’s behaviours reflect his mindset that inspires attraction or not. So confidence is the key to the attraction inspiring behavioural traits. The best way to understand and implement confidence is to understand that CONFIDENCE HAPPENS WHEN YOU PERCEIVE THAT NOTHING HOLDS YOU BACK. This definition explains why five year old children can be just as confident as rock stars, sports stars and millionaires, if not more so.

Really, the key to confidence and a strong reality, and its properties of core confidence, unreactiveness, offering value and being assertive is having no limiting beliefs. Achieving a mindset with no limiting beliefs is a whole ‘nother article, but for this article I will assume that you have no limiting beliefs. In a beta male’s reality, his confidence is destroyed by limiting beliefs and he is stifled and held back by his limiting beliefs – as a result he can never behave in a way that inspires attraction. The fact of the matter is, a limiting belief can only exist if you let it exist

An alpha male and a man with confidence has the perpetual mindset of ‘if anyone can do it, I have as good a chance of getting it done as anyone else’. This is in congruence with a man’s innate alpha trait of ‘being a man of action’. This is a non-assuming mindset, an assuming mindset would be reliant on external factors – limiting beliefs can only exist in assumptions.

If a man can retain the mindset of ‘if anyone can do it, I have as good a chance of getting it done as everyone else’ then from the time he is born to the day he dies, he will progress along the reality scale until he is a true alpha male. But of course, he has to contend with social conditioning and competition from other males that will look to eclipse him and stifle him so that they can retain influence and stifle any other potential alpha males from influencing them. This is how natural selection works. It is survival of the fittest and strongest. In the wild, it is the fittest and strongest that become the alpha males and survive. In emotional and social society, it is the guys with the strongest willpower, discipline and those who make the effort to generate influence that are the alpha males and get girls.
Willpower and whether or not you make an effort in life is the difference between you being a good person or a bad person. To be yourself means behaving in congruence with what you physically are AND using what you physically are to take action and have influence.

If a guy can use his willpower, discipline and effort, he can form and retain a strong reality that will only build momentum all his life. From the time he gets a taste of what it’s like to be an alpha male, he will never want to go back to being a beta male. The primary difference between alpha males and beta males or females is that alpha males are self-reliant and take responsibly for themselves and their reality, whereas beta males and females must rely on others to take responsibility for them on one level or another.

Beta males rely on alpha males for jobs, alliances or protection, whereas women rely on alpha males for protection and emotional security. In primitive times, females wanted protection from the elements and other men, something that alpha males could provide that they couldn’t get for themselves, and though evolution females become attracted to men who behaved in alpha ways. In modern society, the deep emotional impulses remain. Alpha males in modern society have a fulfillment and strength of reality that is completely self-reliant. On an emotional and social level, modern women can have plenty of happiness and a very strong reality, but they will never have that autonomous fulfillment that an alpha male can have. But, for a modern day woman, fulfillment can be gained from a relationship with an alpha male who is internally fulfilled.

All people seek a strong reality for security and good feelings to fit into society. Women form a very strong reality through external reinforcement. Alpha males form a strong reality in a completely different way, through self-fulfillment that is autonomous and independent of external reinforcement – it is drawn from internal strength (willpower, determinedness, resilience, proactive effort), and is strong enough for others to rely on.

An alpha male with an extremely strong reality is something that beta males and females can rely on. A female with a strong reality will have an even stronger reality when she is coupled with an alpha male, and she will have even better feelings than when she is on her own. That’s why women are attracted to men – a good feeling that comes from the security he can provide her that she can’t entirely provide for herself. That is why, as a man, it is important to have a strong, dependable and influential reality. Without it, you won’t be attractive, and evolutionarily, you wouldn’t survive when you die.

In terms of pick up, when you are in the club and going after girls with very strong, externally reinforced and externally validated realities, you need to have a stronger reality than them to offer them value and have any chance of picking them up. If you have nothing to offer the girls, then there is no reason why they would want to engage in talking to you or spend any time with you.

Even though hot girls in the club do have very strong and continually reinforced realities, it can never be as strong as an internally defined and autonomous alpha reality. When a hot club girl comes across an alpha male as a source of strength, if she were to be validated by it, then it would make her reality even stronger through even stronger sources of external validation than she had previously known. Therefore, she would feel better than she already felt. This is what it means to offer value

To be an alpha male you need to have the mindset that ‘if something can be done, I have as good a chance as anyone else of doing it’. This is self-assurance, not arrogance – arrogance doesn’t set out to take action but rather rests on its laurels or what it claims to be able to do. In the alpha headspace of ‘if something can be done, I have as good a chance as anyone else of doing it’ you will naturally and automatically have core confidence, unreactiveness, you will offer value and you will be assertive. When you automatically and unconsciously exhibit these behaviours you will inspire attraction in women because they are evolved to be attracted to alpha males. And women have a telepathic ability to recognize an alpha male.

You will have core confidence because you will trust in what you are as a man and put no obstacles or limiting beliefs between you and your objectives. You will be unreactive because you will shun or ignore other people’s efforts to stifle you or put doubts in your mind about yourself – you will hold your course free from external forces influencing your core purpose as an alpha male. You will offer value because you will become someone of integrity that other people can rely on and always get a good feeling of security and validation from. And you will be assertive in that you follow your instincts for honourable purposes, to create a positive dominant influence and to seek fulfillment through benefiting others though your good influence on them.

These are all good things and fulfilling to an alpha male. The more you behave in alpha ways, the stronger your alpha reality will become and the more efficient at inspiring attraction you will become. But, an alpha reality doesn’t get stronger through reinforcement, rather it gets stronger through momentum, decisiveness, magnitude and frequency of behaviours. An alpha reality gets stronger as your influence increases. Metaphorically, you become more influential and more attractive to women in the same way that water siphons out of a tube drawing from a positive internal source, some call this the ‘infinite well’. The more momentum you have drawing from a source of good autonomous energy source inside of you, the stronger your reality, the more ability you will have to inspire attraction, the more you will pick up girls. The hottest girls.

So, what I have talked about and shown in this article goes hand-in-hand with the attraction formula.

Attraction equals higher value plus a full range of emotions, to the power of infinity. If you have a stronger reality than the girl, then she will notice immediately and be interested in you. If you have a strong reality and she has engaged you, then she will be reactive to you as you have an influential reality over hers. If you are the one doing the influencing then you are going to be a source of stimulus for those around you. Stimulation is emotionally arousing and women become turned on when they are emotional aroused. Because you are a source of stimulation, and your strong reality is a source of continual and dependable validation, people around you will continue to gravitate towards you and attraction has infinite potential. A strong reality makes you very attractive – the stronger the better.
If you don’t have a strong reality and you want to get one, then that involves a rite of passage and finding your indifference threshold. In terms of the strength of reality graph, that would involve a situation when your chode reality came crashing down, where you hit the bottom, then started climbing back up. This time taking responsibility for everything, ‘the buck stops with you’. Tangibly, this is done through congruence tests and retained through congruence tests. Congruence tests is the gymnasium of social and emotional experience and growth in natural game. The learning of natural game and transformations is another in depth article. I have began to plan it and map it out. It will be comprehensive.

When you move away from having your reality externally-defined and reinforced to being internally-defined, and you build momentum of influence, you become socially versatile. Those principles will be totally explained in yet another in depth article.

In conclusion: Strength of Reality Series.

“What does it mean to have a strong reality, and why is it even important?”

If you have a reality that is stronger than the girl you are trying t pick up than you have something to offer her that she isn’t getting for herself. The stronger your reality the stronger your internal sense of security. With your internal sense of security comes positive and calming feelings. To have a weak reality means you feel vulnerability, anxiety and negativity.

For a guy a strong reality can come in two forms. Externally derived or internal defined. Both can be strong realities but one is resilient and can be absolute. While the other is fleeting and vulnerable.

In the case of the strong externally derived reality it usually means that you have more contextual confidence relative to the girl. It means that in that situation you have a stronger security of reality and therefore a better internal feeling about yourself than she does. If the girl connects with you emotionally then her sense of self (her reality) is strengthened because when she is with that guy her reality is being strengthened and validated by a stronger source. She is attracted to a guy with higher value than she has. The things that makes a guy valuable to a girl is if he has strong positive and secure feelings that comes from having a stronger sense of self.

But, an externally defined reality is EXTERNALLY DEFINED, so it is always at the mercy of external elements and influences. His reality is formed through validation seeking actions and him identifying with abstract external labels and identities. If a guy’s reality is externally formed then it can be externally broken. One day he can be attractive to girls, but If his reality should be broken by an external source the next day then he would no longer be high value. Some people call this identity crisis’s. For people learning how to become better at picking up women this explains their inconsistencies and frustrations.

In the case where the guy defines his reality internally it is safe from external fluctuations and is more consistent and can always be stronger. An internally defined reality can be ABSOLUTE or 100% where as an externally derived reality can never be ABSOLUTE or 100%. An internally defined reality is formed through pro-activity, initiative, will power, effort and decisiveness. The foundations of an internally defined reality are positive, whereas the foundations of an externally derived reality are negative. Girls are attractive to guys who have any type of stronger reality than them, but they are more attracted to guys who have internally defined realities because they pick on the positive vibes of internally defined realities. A woman’s recognition system instantly categorizes those types of guys as alpha males. They are attracted to those guys, If you are one of those types of guys picking up becomes easy.

A guy who has a stronger reality than a girl is attractive to her because he is less reactive to her than she is to him. A guy with an internally defined reality is not only less reactive to the girl than the girl is to him, but he is unreactive to the world itself. Unreactiveness leads to core confidence, core confidence leads to automatically offering value and when you know you are offering value you can supercharge your attraction by asserting that value. Picking up becomes more effective.

Unreactiveness, core confidence, offering value and assertiveness are all behavioural patterns that girls recognize as alpha and they instantly categories that guy as attractive. When a girl makes this alpha male categorization that guy gets high value status in that girl’s emotional perception.

When that guy is higher value than the girl the girl is reactive to him. She will become nervous but attentive around him. The more time a guy with a strong reality spends with a girl with a relatively less strong reality the more she will react to him. Each reaction she has to him the more he becomes a source of arousal and the more she becomes aroused. Arousal is EMOTIONAL STIMULATION. Attraction builds when high value is combined with emotional stimulation. A = HV + E.

Girls’ realities are inherently different from guys’ realities. Guys are designed to be delusionally confident and delusional confidence stems from a delusional sense of self trust. Innate emotional self trust is what guys have that girls don’t have as much of, and that’s what girls want from a guy. A guy who is being the man he is supposed to be. Girls innately have a more skeptical and cerebral reality as a result of being less physically versatile in the natural world.

Humans have evolved so that men are the risk takers and women are the risk questioners. Between these two opposing forces they find some happy medium and offer mutual value. The woman urges the man to take fewer risks to be safer, but men look take more risks to conquer more territory or gather more influence. Girls are attracted to ‘ballsy’ guys. ‘Ballsy’ guys have the strongest internally defined reality because they are deluded in their sense of entitlement, strength, capacity and abilities.

For a girl to spend time with a ‘ballsy’ risk taking guy she will be very aroused because she will always react to him. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY that type of guy is high value to her because he has a very powerful feeling of internal strength that the girl wants more of in her own reality. She feels safe, and therefore good, when she is with a man with a strong reality.

That’s what it means to have a strong reality, and that’s why it is important to have one. It’s just as important to have the right type of strong reality.

How do you go from having weak reality to a strong one? In short: nominate your path and goals and follow them. Seek to remove blindspots. Adhere to firmly to your personal boundaries. And come into congruence with Presence, Positive-Dominance and being a Man of Action.

Are there different degree of Alphaness and Betaness? Yes. But somewhere between the two there is a DEFINITE divide point, this idea is more important than the degree to which someone is alpha or beta. The varying degrees of alphaness depends on how many times (socially and emotionally) that the guy is reactive, relies on his context for confidence, how often he takes value and how often he asserts value taking. Degrees of betaness depends on how often a beta male or female has core confidence, is reactive, offers value and is assertive with that value.

How do you know when you are an alpha male? You are an alpha male when your own (social and emotional) opinions of yourself are more important to you than the reactions and opinions of other people. But this is only true if you have no blind-spots.

Can beta males get girls? Yes, if they have a stronger reality than the girls. But its easy for the beta males reality to fluctuate and with that their attraction to the girls fluctuates.

Can Alpha males with an absolute reality get girls? Yes. They are higher value than everyone one in their own reality. When they interact with girls the girls are reactive to these guys and the alpha male inspires a full range of emotions in the girl. Girls are usually shy and nervous around alpha guys and they test them a lot. But don’t worry, tests give you a chance to overtly DHV. Remember that shy and nervous reactions in girls is the true IOI.

In conclusion, having a strong reality of the right type will help you pick up a lot of girls.

Open your eyes to the strength of reality matrix.

Alexander~

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 25th, 2009 at 11:33 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.