How to drink.
I used to be an expert on this one.
It was kinda difficult going from drunken lifestyle to social lifestyle. I wondered how they would fit together.
But basically, gaming drunk is like driving drunk. You won’t be able to stop yourself from making mistakes. Even though you will be able to tell that you are slurring, staring at cleavage and urinating on the bar.
These things are embarrassing and unbecoming.
Hanging out with the boys and drinking is a whole ‘nother story.
I watched a clip online recently featuring Dr Phil. He was interviewing turbo girls that frequented Hollywood social hotspots.
When posed the question: ‘what do girls like in guys that approach them in the bar?’
They didn’t know. They can recognise what is attractive it in an instant but will never be able to articulate it.
If a girl could tell you what she liked in a guy who approached her in a bar then that would be like the maths teacher giving away the answers to the maths test.
She wouldn’t really test you to see what type of guy you are.
Of course, this isn’t a conscious process. It is subconsciously prewired in light of millions of years of natural selection. Evolution.
The turbos’ response was: ’someone who isn’t drunk’.
Drunk confidence is false confidence and substitute from true self esteem.
So what then is the answer? No drinking?
“But Alex~” i hear you cry in despair… I appreciate alcohol.
Alcohol is good, but not as a confidence catalyst or a sense of escape. Drinking for the product is excellent.
But there are many terrible repercussions of drinking. It is expensive. It is bad for your teeth. It will make you do things that will embarrass you and make you do things that you will regret.
It will make you fat. And you will develop a tolerance. Beer will bloat you. Sugar based spirit drinks will cause you to have a sugar high then crash, and make you fat.
Energy-vodka drinks combine and inhibitory and an excitatory combination of drugs that really has a nullifying effect.
Plus, a drunken night has the added repercussions of a lost day afterwards. I used to lie around all day on Sunday thinking I could have done sooo much more today.
After a while I bit the bullet and got a job from 5am until 8pm every Sunday. Rational was: may as well be on someone else’s time when I am drunk.
Made some good money working in a fruit shop drunk as fuck. Fell asleep in the cardboard bin once and made 25 dollars. Annnd I dated the checkout girls 
.
Plus if you want to go out a few nights a week you simply cannot drink. The body cannot repair itself ready to be spritely for the next night.
But where does alcohol come into the game. The girls love to drink and its outside a lot of people’s reality that you could go out and not drink.
You can be a pick up guru. But if what you’r doing is outside of your girls reality it simply won’t register and hence-forth: won’t fly.
Alcohol is solely good in that is creating a resource for which you can blame your actions, as opposed to blaming yourself. Or her blaming herself.
Similarly to this, in terms of development, a lot of people have their first sexual experiences while drunk. As a result drinking is conditioned to have strong sexual connotations.
I can think of more than ten instances when i have been with a girl who has had few drinks who begins to stumble around drunk in order to attribute her impending frivolous behaviour to booze rather than her own desires.
Understand that if a girl guys you a drink this is what’s going on. She will usually buy herself one as well. An added intention of hers might be to inhibit you so you hurry the fuck up and make a move.
So, for example, at the end of a date or after the club and y’all back at your house don’t be afraid to pour a glass or wine or shake up a cocktail. It’s the hospitable thing to do.
And remember, men and women both love to have sex. Except, you need to take EVERY RESPONSIBILITY for it happening.
Don’t get people drunk. The minute you even have a inclination that she feels uncomfortable back the fuck up. Otherwise, fraternise on.
Another more universal rule is that you can only hit on girls less drunk than yourself. Sometimes binge drinking is a necessity to morally move things forward.
What then do you drink in the bar?
After several lengthy (fun) months of experimenting with alcohol-gaming combinations my conclusive result is straight gin!
Served straight, no ice, tall glass. I don’t know what it would be called. If I had to name it I would call it the ‘piece of cunt’.
“Good evening barkeepe, may I please order a ‘piece of cunt’?”
“Well yes gentle-sir, wet or dry?”
I see it now.
Advantages of the straight gin in the tall glass are the following.
It tastes like shit so you drink it slow and don’t get drunk.
It tastes like shit, so every time you take a sip you get a pattern interrupt in your mouth and it jolt your state.
It tastes like shit so you drink it slow and save money.
It tastes like shit so it’s a great conversation piece and signature of your masculinity and bragging right amongst more Justin Timberlake kinda guys.
Its served in a tall glass which is always slim, so unlike bigger beer glasses such as pints, pitchers and schooners it can be held at the waste.
Sidenote: beer glasses outright cause you to stand like a chode, leaving you hiding behind your hand and your arm away from the scary world.
Its served in a tall glass so unlike beer, spirits and so on and so forth cocktails it won’t be spilt fucken everywhere.
Sidenote: if you want to knock a drink onto someone: get a full glass of water, hold it as though you were about to take a swig and get a friend to help you knock it in a desired direction. (sub-sidenote: use with discretion)
It tastes like shit, like the strongest alcohol you have ever tasted so you tend to feel tipsy while having the blood alcohol content of between 0 and 0.01.
Gin is the way.
If you are having a bachelor party I would recommend drinking a keg.
Otherwise, don’t defy the turbos…
Alexander~
Served Chilled.
